hello?

I haven't posted since January 1st.

I probably should have kept up at this because it's going to be hard to do these last 9-10 months justice.

January sucked. What with work being crazy and them forcing me to work overtime. It was really depressing. And I got really burned out for the next couple months. I'm not looking forward to that time of year again. (SOON! UGH!)

In February I went to Disney World! I fell in love with the place and had the most fun I've ever had. We went to the beach, to Universal Studios, to Downtown Disney, to every park in Disney World. SO FUN. I want to go back every day.

March passed by without much out of the ordinary. I started to like work a little bit better again. And I started to be better friends with people at work too. I have some amazing co-workers.

April brought with it some personal changes. I started reading the Book of Mormon again. I mention this because it really impacted my life a lot more than I thought it would. I owe every good thing that's happened this year to my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. Reading the Book of Mormon  again helped me draw closer to them and helped me change my life.

In May I welcomed these sun with open arms. I LOVE summer. I LIVE for the summer. My roommate and I also decided, rather quickly, to move from West Jordan to Cottonwood Heights. It was the best decision ever. We moved in with Chelsey and Lynsie to a house and I've loved every minute.

Ryan and Courtney got married in June! It was a really fun and awesome day. I'm happy Courtney is a part of our family. I couldn't ask for a better sister-in-law. So far the two that I have are AMAZING. So lucky. My brothers are crazy lucky too. I also went blonde in June. I was blonde for all of summer. That was fun. I took at trip to Manti with my ward and roommates. I started and ended as a temple worker at the Oquirrh Mountain temple. Then was set apart to start as a temple worker for the Salt Lake temple in August.

July was crazy busy. I went camping with my family one night, got sick for a week, had a family reunion, flew to New York with my mom and Annalie for 8 days, came back, worked a little, and then Cyann and Justin came in from New Mexico to visit us! LOTS of jammed packed days with lots of fun. New York was incredible. I just love my family out there. Hi-lights include Niagara falls, Hill Cummorah Pageant and the Sacred Grove, the finger lakes, hiking in the Adirondacks with Aunts and Uncle and cousins, and our day in Philadelphia. So much fun!

August started out busy as well. Working full time in the summer is a joke. It's SO hard to want to go to work when the sun is out and the world is beautiful! I went to Yellowstone with my ward. It was a blast. A lot of driving. But a blast. I started working at the temple! It's so incredible to spend 6 hours a week at the temple. I'm learning so much, even if it is SO difficult to wake up at 4am those days.

And now, September. It's the end of the month. Everyone went back to life and school and jobs. So life sort of slowed down a bit. I have a capstone student at work, so I get to have a student almost every shift from now until the end of October. It's teaching me patience, that's for sure. But she's great. Smarter than I was in school. I've been hiking a few times here and there. Don't see my family as much as the summer, but that's life.

So sorry it's been so long. These are the goings on. I really want to blog soon and write about my thoughts about my goings on. Like I sort of mentioned, my life has really changed this year and I am just in awe of how great these changes are and how they came to be.

But I guess stay tuned for those thoughts.

to those who care

It's now been a whole month since I've started working at my new job. I get asked all the time how my job is going, so I thought I'd just write down a little update.

All in all, I'm LOVING my new job.

The hospital is so nice. It's a brand new facility. I don't have to worry about the water heater going out every morning, there is temperature controls for each room, the call lights work, we have these cool little Vocera phone things we carry on us so everyone can get ahold of us, and all the supplies are pretty well stocked. It's a great building. (Not to say that my old place was terrible. I loved Heritage, but I can't deny that it was an old building.)

My co-workers are all really nice so far. It's different working with a lot of nurses on the floor with me. At my previous job I was the only nurse on my floor. I got really close with my CNA's. But this job is great because I always have an army of nurses to ask for advice or help. The CNA's are good too, though I think my Heritage aides could work circles around the hospital aides. I miss them. The doctors I work with are really nice too. I love having the Hospitalist on the floor all day. I love having a pharmacist on the floor all day. It's a nice change to have all these people there all the time to ask questions.

The work is great, just like always. Most of the time I love being a nurse. It's a great job that really is very selfless in nature. I'm glad I picked a career that is so service oriented. I'm so happy to be where I am now. I am even more grateful for starting my career at Heritage. The knowledge I have from everything I did there has helped me so much.

I finished my training last week and I've now been on my own for 4 shifts. I really like being let loose on my own. It's great to train with my awesome coworkers and see how they do everything, but really there is nothing better than being able to do your own things on your own time and organize it your own way. It's been great.

Oh, and did I mention the best and worst parts? The best part: the shift starts at 7:00am instead of 6:00, and I don't have to wake up in the 4 o'clock hour anymore. I can sleep in until 5:45, take a shower, and drive to work with ample time to spare. The worst part: I get out of work at 7:30pm and sometimes later. So It's kind of a good and bad thing. I think the good outweighs the bad though. I'm loving sleeping later.

And that's that.

Bittersweet and Big

I am so excited to announce that I have accepted a position at Riverton Hospital on the Med/Surg unit. I probably literally danced around a whole bunch the day I found out. I'm so excited to continue in my career and learn more of what being a nurse is about.

I have loved my job at Heritage. Really and truly, most days I would come home and I would think about my patients and really care about my job. At first my job was so stressful and I would come home and just dissolve into tears, wondering if it was worth it. Then it became worth it once I knew what to do and how to do most things.

We had a nursing class reunion a few months after I started my job and I was able to talk with a bunch of people in my class about our jobs. I was THE ONLY ONE who could honestly say that I loved my job. I was so nervous about telling people I worked at a Care Center while they all worked at fancy hospitals. But guess what? I actually loved what I did. I felt so lucky.

Of course I didn't love every day. Some days were too stressful to remember and others were boring. There are things I wish I didn't have to worry about (like water heaters, supply deliveries, putting admits in the computer, answering phones, etc.) but I have learned to figure things out very quickly.

I always thought it would be the end of the world to work at a care center when I was in nursing school. But now I couldn't imagine a better start for my career. I have learned so much, used almost every single skill I've ever learned in school, and I've learned to rely on my team, my knowledge, and really care for patients. I've also learned to handle stress better than I ever have in my life.

What I'll miss most of all are my co-workers. I had the best managers, the most amazing CNAs, and some of the funnest conversations ever. I hope we'll all see each other here and there and I hope we'll work together one day. I met the best people ever. Like LaChelle, Sarah, Rebecca, Valeriia, Andrea, Chad, Jennifer, Greg, Nate, Aubrey, Brandy, Mandy, Lacey, Q, Val, Amy, and so many more that I know I'm forgetting. Amazing people. I can only hope that my new co-workers are half as awesome as these ones were.

I'm sad to leave. But I'm happy also. It's bringing a lot of thoughts and emotions. But all in all, I'm excited for my life. This is a huge change. Huge.

:D And I'm happy.

 

October

The month of October has been one of the most busy and stressful months of my life in a long long time.
And it's still going strong with the stress.

Swarley. My new friend.

I bought a new computer. It's amazing and it has been a great purchase. It's helped me rediscover the amazingness of the internet. I've been able to blog again, look at pictures I've taken over the last year, and pay my bills on time. So, pretty much a priceless purchase.

I got in a car accident on October 5th. i was with my friend Ashley Baugh from when I worked at the pool. We decided to finally hang out since it had been like 8 months. And we went to a haunted house. That was actually quite fun, more fun than I thought I would have there.
Afterwards, I was driving in Salt Lake trying to figure out how to get on the freeway, when I was turning left and realized, too late, that I didn't have a green arrow or the right of way and there were 3 lanes of traffic headed straight towards me.
I heard honking, and the next thing I knew, someone had it the passenger side of my car. The first thing I thought was "Not my pretty new car!" 
The next thing I knew, I was staring out of my windshield, the windshield wipers were all on, and Ashley was sitting there, not saying anything, with the airbags inflated around her.
I asked over and over if she was okay. She didn't answer at first, probably shock. We got out of the car and figured out that we were okay. The other car was okay too. No injuries. 
The rest of the night is a blur. It was awkward not knowing what to do or who to talk to or what to do with my car. I hated standing there, knowing it was my fault, and trying to figure it all out. Ashley called her family, and they all came to help. The nicest people on the planet. Seriously.
I finally called my mom back after telling her it happened and hanging up a minute later. She handed the phone to my dad and he talked me through what I'll need to do with my car. 

During the surgery. Poor thing.

That's when I started to cry. I don't really know why. Adrenaline wearing off, gratitude that my dad was being so nice, thankful that it wasn't too bad, and annoyance at the police officers for being so unhelpful.
So that was that night. 
My poor car had been sick and in the hospital for almost 32 days. I guess it was close to being called a total loss, but by a miracle, everything was fixable and my car looks as good as new. It was amazing getting my car back. I missed her.
It really was terrible getting in a car accident. I don't recommend it. I feel stupid, most of all, for the momentary lapse of brain function that must have happened to have this happen in the first place. I am a save driver. I keep thinking that Dan would probably be kicking himself because he taught me better. Mr. Safe-driver. I hope he never finds out this happened.
But I'm so grateful that if I HAD to get in an accident, it happened like it did. No one was hurt. There was no screaming, yelling, or crying (until I cried). I got a ticket, but that's paid off. My car was repaired. And my insurance company has been really great with everything. 

Another thing. You know how I don't love my job. Well, I don't hate it. I'm just sick of it and need a change. Well, the count for job applications is up in the 30's and I finally got a call on a job and a job interview at Primary Children's Medical Center in the OR.
It was such a dream come true. They called on a Thursday, the interview was set up on Monday, and on Tuesday I was nervously waiting in the nurse's lounge for my interview.
I think it went well. I think back on it and replay it in my head and there's not much I would change. I think I did a good job selling myself and letting him know what I was really like and that I would be a good fit. But then I waited a week (that's what they said to do) and I called to bug them a few times, and I still haven't heard anything either way. I'm just going to call it a loss now, but mark my words: one day I will work in the OR at Primary Children's. Just the things he said about the job and the atmosphere of the place let me know that this could definitely be my dream job.
In the mean time, work really hasn't been bad at all. My new manager has made things a billion times better, I feel like I've learned a ton and keep learning, and most of my co-workers are awesome. 

In church news, I was finally able to go to church in October after not being there since the beginning of September. I got a calling on the activities committee of our ward. Kind of a new experience for me, but I'm sure it will be good. I also was asked to speak that Sunday (the one Sunday I got to go to church in October). I did a good job, I hope. I really enjoyed speaking and that people know who I am now.

The next Sunday I worked, and by some small miracle, I got off work 10 minutes earlier than normal. I wanted to get home to my parent's house because my family was there and I like to see them. But in my slightly excited state, I drove too fast and got pulled over. I can't catch a break. I got a speeding ticket. The first once in almost 10 years of driving. I had to pay even more money for it and take traffic school online. Now that I've been educated, you can bet I'm the safest driver in the world now. You know the kind; they completely stop at intersections even when no one is there, they never run yellow lights, they go a little bit below the speed limit. So yeah, I've now aged 50 years and have even MORE anxiety when I drive.

I got to tell you, all of these stressful things were hard to deal with, but what kept me going was knowing that I was going on a trip to NYC the first weekend of November. I was excited. I kept thinking about riding in a plane, seeing Broadway plays, and eating good food in Korea town! I told everyone I knew about this trip. I was so excited.
And then....
Sandy.
That b*#@!. She wrecked the whole East Coast. I feel so bad for everyone that was effected. I was following the damage closely on the news. And then, the morning before we were going to leave, we officially found out that our flight was cancelled. So that went out the window.
We ended up going to the Grand Canyon. That was interesting and exciting. I'll write about that later.

Dad and Kevin at the race.

To combat the stress? Annalie and I took up running again. I haven't seriously ran in over two years. And when I did for a little while, it only last a few weeks until my knees hurt. But this time, I got a knee brace, made a plan, and we've stuck to it for 4 weeks now. I can now run a mile. I'm really excited about it. It feels great.

We decided to start running again after we went and watched my dad's race, the Pony Express trail run 2012. My brother Kevin ran 50 miles. And it is just inspiring to see so many people run for hours and hours on end. I would love to be able to do that. I'm not saying that I will for sure run a 50 mile race anytime soon, but I would love to be able to head out my door and run where I wanted to go. Plus, free therapy and stress relief. 


Well, this was all around just a weird month. Bad and worse and a little bit of good too. I'm glad it's over and that I can move on. One day I'll be grateful for these experiences. I always wonder why things don't work out the way I planned them to. It's frustrating. Especially when I feel like my life has always been exactly opposite of what I have planned. But one day, I'm sure, it will all work out and I'll know the why behind everything.

Happy

I haven't blogged in a while.  Does anyone ever read this anyway? I have been having the best summer ever.  Yellowstone in May. You know that rocked. I went to visit Brittni and Adam in Cedar City. I missed that girl so much! And it had been too long. So long, in fact, that I forgot how awesome Adam is too. I just love those two. We went to a lake, got super sun burned, St. George, and then up the canyon in Cedar, crawled through mammoth cave, and played. I met their dog, Zim. And we lit sparklers in a parking lot on campus. I miss that city so much. I drove around campus right before I drove home just to remember the awesome years I spent there. It was a great weekend. Ryan came home from his mission!! I love that he's home. He's lots of fun and likes to constantly be doing things and make goals. Ha. It's only been like 3 weeks and he already has a job! It's fun. I've been living in April Ramsay's beautiful house. I get kicked out this week, but it's been the best! I love waking up in the morning and going to my mom's house to play all day because I only live 3 blocks away. It's been the best.  Annalie and I decided to be roommates. We've been super best friends for 3 years now and finally decided we could live together and not kill each other! Ha. We looked at a few places and found an amazing place in West Jordan. We move in in August! I'm so excited for the change of places and wards and a new start again. Work has been a roller coaster. The month of May was terrible and stressful beyond anything. But things calmed down in June and we hired 5 new nurses. I was fortunate to train 4 of them on our Rehab hall, all of whom are amazing nurses and so nice. We're lucky to have a really great team of people. I'm loving work most days. I work with some awesome CNA's that make time go faster and shifts more fun. I know it took me a while to warm up to everything, but I'm happy now. I was named employee of the month this week! I was shocked and honored! I really didn't have any idea that was going to happen, but I makes me happy knowing that my co-workers nominated me and they appreciate me.  Unfortunately and fourtunately (still undecided), I am going to look for new jobs closer to West Jordan. Hopefully at the University of Utah if I can. Annalie speaks so highly of it, I feel like it would be fun. For now I'm going to stay at my job until I figure out my future a bit more. Or until the 40 minute commute gets to me, come August. But I'm happy for now. For everything. For the prospect of change and for a great job in the mean time. I'm going to California in a week for a family reunion. I'm excited to go to the beach! And to play with my family!! We never go on family vacations anymore, so I'm really looking forward to it.  Besides all that, I work and play. I go swimming, play with my nephews and neice, chill with my sister, and find fun things to do. Like the aquarium, or the rodeo, or City Creek, or play at the park.  So that's life lately. It's happy. Boy oh boy, do I LOVE summer! I live for the summer!! I tell you what! 

glimpse

Yesterday I started talking to one of my patients.

He’s LDS and our past conversations led him to understand that I was LDS as well. I tend not to give a lot of personal information about myself to my patients. You never know, you know? But he learned this and we had a connection.

He had a rough day. But I’ll be darned if he didn’t smile genuinely every time I walked into the room.

We were talking when I gave him his pills just before dinner. I had only 45 more minutes of working and I just wanted to go home. I wanted to leave the room quickly and just get things done. But I knew that I was his favorite nurse and so I stayed in the room to talk to him.

He told me how much he appreciated me. And explained how I light up the room when I walk in.

I don’t know how to respond to such amazing compliments as that. So I just deflected and told him how much I appreciated his words and his positive attitude. It really is a pleasure to have patients like him.

He stated, “I’m just trying to live how the Savior taught and would have us live.”

He said "us." It didn't mean "members of the church." It meant him and me.

I got caught off guard. He put me in a category with himself. I thought about how strong he must be. To go through all that he’s gone through: Divorce, remarrying, putting his wife in a nursing home, moving all over the country, living with diseases, and having a 5 bypass surgery. And yet every other thing he says glorifies God and all of his blessings. And he put me in a category with himself.

I’ve been in a place lately where I feel like I’m not doing anything right. And it was as if he opened up the spiritual door that I have closed when he verbalized his motto in life. When he invited the Savior and his teachings into our conversation.

Again, he said that I have a light and a spirit about me. He said righteous people light the world from inside out. He said he could see that in me and in the way I treat everyone.

Part of me wanted to stop him and tell him how I haven’t been to church in a few weeks, how I hate my ward, how sometimes I swear, watch rated R movies, think bad about Provo Mormons, wish I didn’t have to go to church,  how I don’t read my scriptures often enough, don’t write in my journal, how I don’t pray enough, I’m ungrateful, my temple recommend is expired, I don’t even want to go to the temple some days, and how terrible of a person I feel like all the time.

But I listened. And wow. He took all my words away. I couldn’t even reply to all the wonderful things he was saying about me.

I forgot about all the good things about me. But for those five minutes that I stayed in his room I got a glimpse again.

i'm a dandy

i still love my job. okay... some days i don't. like when i have someone tell me that i'm getting 4 admits. and even worse, i found out, was the day after having 4 admits. fixing orders, trying to explain things to families, calling doctors, and trying to have a smile while doing it.
but then there are these moments that make everything worth it.
like when i walk into a patient's room and she smiles from ear to ear, takes my hand, and starts tearing up as she says, "I'm SO glad you're my nurse today. I just love it when you're here. You are a perfect nurse. I just love you."
true story. :)
plus, there is this adorable old man who likes to follow me around all day because he doesn't really know what else to do or what's going on. his dementia makes things really entertaining for us both. like how he asks the same question to me 7 times in one hour.
whenever i have to walk away from the nurses stations he gets a little anxious and asks, "where are you going?" and i tell him i'll be right back. when i come back he says, "i thought you'd abandoned me!" and i reassure him.
but i surprised myself the other day when i walked back to the nurses station and he was gone. i found myself looking around for him, and when he walked up i said, "i thought you'd abandoned me!"
he's so fun. and he told me i'm his favorite nurse. he said, "you're a special one. you're a dandy."
i love that!
some days i walk down the hall at work and think about how lucky i am to be a nurse. and how much i have really grown to love working at a care center. i think one day i still want to try out different specialties, but i'm so relieved and happy that i'm perfectly content with my job right now and that it is something i enjoy.

a moment

yesterday one of my patients passed away.

since working, i've had only 4 people i've taken care of pass away.

but this one was the first one that happened on my shift.

i'm not depressed or anything. i just feel like this is a moment i'll remember forever. 

she was the sweetest little lady. so cute. so happy. she was confused most of the time. and i admit that half of the fun of taking care of her was hearing all the funny things she would say. 

they had a little spot light on her the month before in the care center news letter. i don't remember everything, except that her husband asked her to marry him on their first date and she was an amazing cook. i tried to remember those things about her when i took care of her.

yesterday she took a turn for the worse. they moved her into a private room so her family could be by her side. she wasn't doing well. i was relieved when her son showed up at 3. i knew she didn't have long.

then, around four, one of my aides came up to me and told me that her son thought she stopped breathing.

i went into the room and instantly knew. she was gone. i had to do something nurse-y. so i got down beside her bed and tried to feel for a pulse. nothing.

i said in an almost whisper, "i can't find a pulse." and her son fell apart. he grabbed my hand and held it tightly as he cried. i teared up. i'm the type of person that does that. i empathize a little too much sometimes. 

he let go of my hand and thanked me for taking care of her.

it was hard to leave the room and go on about my job like nothing was going on in that room. someone's life just changed forever. and yet i had a patient bugging me to give him his pills. wow.

i've just been thinking about this a bit. like i said, i'm okay; not depressed. and i think i handled it all very well. i think i'll remember her for the rest of my life. what a moment.

i love nursing.

i like things.

i had a lot of fun at work yesterday. which is so good. guess what, everyone? i like my job. a month or so ago i would have only been able to say, "i don't HATE it." but now i like it. and yesterday i really liked it. it was a slow day. like, i had to think of things to do for a couple hours because nothing was happening. it was great. i got to talk to patients, check on them more often, assess like i learned in school, and just feel like a nurse. some days i just feel like a drug dealer. and some of my co-workers are so funny and awesome! and it helps that the CNAs keep telling me that i'm one of their favorite nurses to work with. life is good in that department for now. i'm happy i like it.

my visiting teachers are incredible. they're my first set that has actually visited me, so they earn points there. but they go beyond that. they text me all the time, seek me out at church to talk to me and ask me how i am, listen to and remember everything i tell them, visit randomly just because, and bring me cupcakes. on sunday, after one of my friends had to leave church, one of my visiting teachers switched rows to sit by me so i wasn't alone. it was so nice of her. makes me feel super loved. and on tuesday, they brought me dinner. and not just any dinner, cafe rio's pork salad. yeah. they're that amazing. i just love them.

my nephews are the cutest kids around. camden is goofy and funny. kent is adorable and squirmy. and i get to have a new nephew or niece come april! yay yay yay! plus, cyann found out she's having a girl. so in february i get a new sort of niece, like lily. i'm so excited! little children are the best.

i've been having so many dreams about korea lately. it's good and bad. good, because i still feel connected to it and like it was real. bad, because part of me thinks i'll never get to go back there. or if i do, it will just be a sad disappointing trip, realizing that things are not the same. i'm seriously trying to save money to go to korea next year in the fall. i really really want to. and some days the thought of saving money for that trip is what i need to wake up in the morning and go to work. but then i remember about paying off student loans and how chester (my car) is not going to live forever and that i need to get a phone plan soon. and money seems like it doesn't grow on trees anymore. sometimes i think life was easier when i was super poor and didn't even think about spending money.

i think i'm a good friend. not to toot my own horn, or anything, but i think i've been handling some things pretty well lately. and although sometimes i'm forgetful and don't keep in touch with everyone i want to keep in touch with, just know that i think about you all ALL the time and i pray for my friends.

i get to go to cedar tomorrow. for about 24 hours. then come back to work for 4 days. then go to cedar again for a longer trip. i miss cedar SO MUCH! i always knew that i wouldn't be able to live there forever but sometimes, especially now because it's fall, i miss campus SO much. i miss walking through the leaves. i miss buying hot chocolate in the sharwan smith center with cy and annalie. i miss the weird parades and things that cedar does almost every weekend. and i miss how small and quiet it can be down there. but i get to visit soon. and i'm so excited.

provo is beautiful though. i hate to admit it, because i seriously thought it would be the last thing i would EVER think, but i like it here. i like the pretty trees, the closeness of the mountains, the nearness of my family, my ward, the new friends i'm making, having more than 3 grocery stores to choose from. it's nice.

the good news, though, is that i definitely do not run the risk of catching provo face anymore. i'm almost 25. and that's almost being a menace. provo face is more of an 18-21 year old thing. so i dodged that bullet. too bad for my sister though... caught it and never could quite shake it. :)

eh. life is good.

a day

i get to work. 10 minutes early. because i get nervous that i'll be late. and because i like to get started right on time. i know it's going to be a crazy day just because i'm working on the rehab floor. it's definition crazy.
i get report. i learn of what's been going on. i haven't worked this floor in about two weeks. so things have changed.
i start my med pass. morning meds are the hardest. everyone has at least 6 pills. then there's the iv's. and the breathing treamtments. the blood sugar checks. insulin. eye drops. and everyone remembers that they need pain pills. and i have to wait to get blood pressures for a few people.
my cna's come up to me at least 3 times. "so and so is feeling nauseated." "what's her face is refusing breakfast," "what's his bucket thinks he has a doctor's appointment today."
and oh, the phone. rings off the hook. and half of the calls are for me. "Mindy, you have a call on line one." "Rehab nurse, you have a doctor holding on line 3." "Rehab, you have a call on line one." An endless game. Sometimes they're important. like the lab. "uh..... so we came to draw that lab last night but didn't put the blood in the right tube. do you still want it done?" "Uh... YES." sometimes they're kind of annoying. "you're my mom's nurse. how is she doing?" and i'm thinking, "which one is that? i think i walked into her room and saw her for 1 minute this morning."
"Oh yeah. She's doing great."
Then therapy comes up to me. "So and so doesn't look to well. You should check him out."
Ok..... add that on my to do list.
i get the morning meds done. and figure out what wound treatments i have left to do. then i remember the to do list.
i check him out. he doesn't look too good.
ask my manager. because i still don't know what i should really be doing in some situations.
then i get to order a chest x-ray. call the place. figure out i did it wrong. call the place again. order a UA to be drawn. put "get urine sample" on my to do list.
keep going....
what's her face is being discharged today. yippee. i've never done a discharge before. ask a bunch of questions to another nurse. get the papers figured out. put "finish papers" on my to do list.
phone call. it's the lab. what's his bucket has critically low lab values. Potassium and Sodium. Oh great, what do I do with that? Go to manager's office. Ask questions. Get some answers. But not all. Go check on patient.
Call the doctor.
He's only rude about three times. Like, "You didn't answer my question." or "You are just talking about nothing." or "You don't know anything about this patient."
feel stupid. brush it off. tell the managers whats going on. they handle some things. they tell me to order labs. i write them on my to do list.
........ where was i?
patient's family complains about bed. send them to social services. patient complains about room. send him to social services. question about insurance. send her to social serives.
afternoon meds? i guess it's about that time?
X-ray comes. she makes me stop what i'm doing to help her. really?....................
patient's family comes to pick her up. oh yeah......... about that paper work. i grab papers. forget to grab all of them. go back to get them. back in the room. forget some more papers. ugh..... i sign, fill out, explain, smile. and then send them on their way.
computer charting really fast.
oh, yeah. my med pass.
manager comes and says, "Mindy, I made taco soup. You should go eat some. It's in the break room."
I want to say, "Have you seen my to do list lately? It's crazy."
Treatments. dress some wounds. check some surgical sites. looks beautiful.
lab comes. "Hey, have you got that urine sample yet?"
crap.
grab a catheter, a tube, and biohazard bag. 10 minutes later i've got it all figured out. hand it to the lab lady.
"so and so won't let me draw her blood."
okay...........................
i diffuse that problem. so and so is about to cry. and i just have to tell her it's okay.
oh yeah, and pass out pills to everyone again.
i guess i should chart too... but... wait, where are my charts? someone stole my charts!
i get everything i can done.
i'm hungry. i'm tired. i'm exhausted. i'm spinning.
the next nurse comes on to relieve me.
THANK YOU.
i give report. tell him about my day.
now i get to go home.
after i find my charts..........................

in no particular order...

My nursing class as achieved the impossible! 100% pass rate on the first try for the NCLEX! It's an AMAZING feeling and I've never been so proud of us! I hope we get to celebrate soon! I just love them all! We're all slowly getting jobs too. Taking over the world, really. We ROCK.

I live in provo now. It's different. From what I had and what i expected. I like my roommates a lot. My ward is impressive. I like it so far. I like living close to family and my nephews. I like being so close to the temple. And wow, there are a lot more stores to choose from than just Lins, Smiths, and Walmart here. So weird! Downsides include BYU football season, BYU students, BYU being close by, and uh... BYU. But, be proud. I've only accidentally made fun of one BYU student.... that I know of.

I went to the temple on Saturday. I haven't wanted to go for a while. I feel bad about that. But the second to last time I went, my life problems multiplied by ten afterwards. And the last time I went I ended up crying. A lot. In the temple. ha. But this time....... I don't know. It was good. But I still feel so conflicted about life. Ugh........... I don't know what to say except I sort of came home feeling a little depressed. And that shouldn't happen. So.......... weird.

I think I'm going to do something crazy soon. Stay tuned.

I have about ten thousand dreams a night lately. It's almost like I don't sleep when I sleep. It hasn't been this bad since around March, when I would have rather stayed up all night than sleep. It's getting to that point. Maybe I need drugs......... hmmm.....

My job is still going okay. I am getting the hang of some things. Like my first shift it took me 4 1/2 hours to pass out the morning meds. And last week my time was 2 1/2 hours. So that's good. I still freak out if I hear the word "admit" floating in the air. And I still have a hard time telling people that I am, in fact, the nurse, despite my lack of knowledge. I'll get more confidence and start feeling better soon, I'm sure. It really is getting better. So that's good.

I can't believe that summer is over. It's weird that I moved. And that all my friends are moving away too. I guess that's what happens in life. You start over in a place, make that place your home, and then when you leave you add about 100 more people onto the list of people you will miss. I just wish that list wasn't so long.

ch-ch-ch-ch changes!

well.... things are changing for mindy's life. i just can't believe how fast it all changed and came together.

the last time i was home visiting i got a feeling like i should move home soon. because i was running out of money and because i needed to get serious about getting a job somewhere. i wasn't too excited about the whole idea, but it felt right. and what can you do when it feels right? putting off the inevitable, i told myself that i would go home for a bit (lowy's baby was coming any day), try to look for a job, and a place to live, then go back to cedar for a bit and finally move.

well, i told sarah, my lovely friend, that i was going to move home soon and she freaked out with excitement and told me to move in with her. it sounded too good to be true! i looked it up, talked to my parent's about it, and set up a time to see it. i visited, knew it would be AWESOME to move there, and applied.

then i thought, "oh crap. i can't commit to living in provo if i don't even have a job."

so i got on the interwebs one night and researched places to apply and beg for jobs. the last thing i did that night was check out a website i had applied to jobs a few months before. there was a job opening in American Fork. I apllied there before, and was rejected. so this time I just applied to apply, without getting my hopes up.

The next morning I was called for an interview. I was SO excited about that. all weekend i thought about what to say, what to wear, and how awesome it would be to have a job so close to provo and my family.

monday came and i went to my interview, quite nervous but feeling pretty good. i walked into the interview and they literally asked me about 3 things and then began to explain the job to me. they talked about weird and forgein things, but i smiled and nodded and asked a few questions. two hours later they called me back. i had gotten the job! i started the next day!

it all came together. the place, the job, my plans. i'm grateful that i at least have an idea of what my life is going to be like for the near future. and, just as expected, it seems silly now that i ever worried myself sick about all of it.

i've worked 4 shifts so far. it's overwhelming, hard, tiring, and crazy. i don't hate it. but i don't love it yet either. i think just being new and not knowing what to do is freaking me out a lot. i want to be comfortable there, but it'll just take time i suppose. i hope.

anyway, i'm a working girl now. pretty soon i will not be in poverty anymore. so that's a plus.

i still need to go to cedar to move my stuff...... that'll be this weekend's task.