summer?

i wish that my life was more interesting.

but summer started.
i guess it officially started after i got back from my graduation ceremony on saturday night. my family came in the house, said goodbye, and got on the road to head home 5 minutes later. my mom did slip me a 20 and told me to go out to dinner. 
okay....
brittni and i had my post graduation dinner at the thai place over by walmart. it was SO good. we got a 7 on the scale of 1-10 spicy-ness. and then decided next time we should ask for a 10. Maybe 11??
hmmm....
church is now at 11. it's nice. i had some weird dream sunday morning about me seeing a psychiatrist about my life depression problems and i couldn't remember ever meeting him. but he prescribed me a benzodiazapine and an SSRI, so i guess it was serious.

maybe the universe is telling me that i have problems. and need drugs.
relief society is so ridiculous lately. no offense to anyone who actually can feel the spirit after 20 minutes of "tell us why you should brag about your life" minute or "what stupid thing can you pretend was a miracle" moment. brittni and i took a walk before relief soceity to avoid the nonsense. but 20 minutes later, when we sat down, they were just starting the announcements.
this week our walk will be 30 minutes long.
i had plans of riding my bike a lot this week. but the weather thought otherwise. i took a walk in the snow on monday. got so cold that i had to sit in a blanket for a while afterwards. yesterday it was rain. today it's just cold.
i just want to camp every day of my life.
i don't know if i'm ready to be a grown up. i guess my college degree says i am. i wish i could just stay where i am for the summer. just 4 months. that's not a long time. i also wish that i won't run out of money.
so i guess i'm wishing for a miracle.

hmm.
gross.

Graduation

Graduation: Everything I hoped for. And more!

Annalie and I cheesing it up!

I think my favorite parts of the ceremonies were just chilling with my classmates waiting for things to start. I love them all! They're 19 of the best friends I've ever had!

Another line up. Waiting. Excited. So happy!

My roommate Lynsie also graduated from the college of Science with her Biology degree! Together we will take over the world!

Best friend Dan made the trip down for two of my ceremonies. It was great having him there!

Mom, Dad, Lauren, and Connor came as well. This was after my pinning ceremony. As nurses we get a special pin for the two years of near torture that we go through. Worth it? Maybe.... :) The pinning ceremony was my favorite part. I was voted "Most Likely to have a song written about them." Brittni wrote a song for me later that night.

The dipolma!! My favorite part of walking up on stage was the awkwardness of it all. First we got a picture taken, then got our names called, then walked to the Dean where he gave us these dipolma covers. He said, "Let's stop right here and look this way for a photo op." I had to contain the laughter at how lame that sounded.

The President of the University shook my hand and asked, "Do you have a job lined up yet?"

I said, "Uh...... No."

haha.

Graduation was awesome. I'm so happy for the experiences that I have had while attending University. I'm so excited for my future! And to be a nurse!

Congrats Nursing class of 2011! We did it! I love you all!

Graduation time!

I can't believe that it's finally time to graduate. But I'd be lying if I said I wasn't fantastically excited about moving on and getting  into this next phase of life.

As of now I don't really have a plan for what I'm doing. (Scarier for me than for you, I assure you.) When people ask I tell them that I'm staying in Cedar for a while. (Don't really know how long.) I'm staying at least for the month of May so that I can study for the NCLEX (scary nursing boards) with classmmates and not be distracted by moving and family and things. Plus, May is a good time of year to go camping. And I'm pretty sure I'll get a lot of studying done when I go camping. Then I'll take my test. (I won't know what day I can take it for another week or so. I'm hoping in a few weeks.) And then I'll beg for a job somewhere. For now I think I should try to stay in Utah. But that means anywhere in Utah. I'm considering it all. Or I've even looked at Arizona. Just keeping my options open. I could really do anything and go anywhere at this point. Kind of scary. But exciting.

All in all, I CAN'T WAIT to be a nurse. I love it so much!

life is going to be okay.

Graduation is coming. SO soon. The other day Betsy came into our class and explained how graduation will work. She got annoyed with us talking whist she was explaining but I think she forgot to realize that most graduating seniors don't have a Betsy to explain things and find where to line up all by themselves. Bless her heart.
Salt lake nursing conference was lame. As daron said, "it was a 6 out of 10 on the pain scale." ha. But I loved hanging out with my best friends and loved making memories. Like ditching the conference to chill at a bar, shopping at barnes and noble, and going to ikea. Ha. I guess I did enjoy the booths that gave us tons of free stuff.
Friend drama. I've been experiencing much of that lately. Whether it's friends being sad, crappy, breaking up, getting back together, being mean, getting new crushes.... Whew. Sometimes I just want to hide in a hole. But luckily I love my friends. So I guess that's good. I just hope that my friends' lives will stop being SO dramatic. As I'm sure they do too.

I went to the temple the other day and it was the best experience I've had in a while. I learned a lot about myself and about deciding future plans. I'm glad I can trust in God to help me out even though I don't deserve it half of the time.
I put blue in my hair. It's awesome. The other day I was looking through pictures of myself from the last two years and I had a different hair color almost every single time. Sometimes I think it's awesome, but then other times I wonder, "what have a done to my poor hair?!?!" it'll be brown for graduation. as well as possibly sporting a different style. then the plan is to not dye it for a while. stay tuned.
I only have one more project to finish before I can start studying for the 3 tests I have and then I AM DONE. Until the next week when I have to study for the NCLEX. Then I'll take that and BE DONE! Until I have to beg for jobs. Hmmm...... life never is easy, is it?

My future is very hazy at this point. It's nerve wracking and makes me sick sometimes to think about it, but it's exciting too. I'll be okay. And the best is yet to be. As brittni said the other night as she held me in a head lock/hug in the middle of Smith's, "you're life is going to be okay."
Sometimes it's nice to be reminded.

hard to come by

A true friend is someone who:

Loves you all the time. Tells you they love you often. Keeps your secrets. Tells you their secrets. misses you when you're gone. Gets excited when you come back. Gives you hugs. Is honest. Tells you about all your good qualities. Lets you know about your bad qualities. Is on your side. Lets you know why they're not on your side sometimes. Never talks bad about you. Wont let anyone talk bad about you. Laughs with you. Is bored with you. Shares the greatest times with you. Is there when you cry. Cries with you. Understands your humor. answers your phone calls. Doesn't look down on you. Wants the best for you. Listens. Listens to your dreams. Helps you achieve them. Gives advice when you want it and sometimes when you don't. Teases you about your stupid mistakes but loves you for them. Can read your emotions. You can be stupid around. Values your opinion. you respect. You look up to. Forgives easily. never forgets your birthday. takes time for you. makes time for you.

my book on patience

You will be rewarded for your patience and understanding. I read that and smirked. I felt like it would become my motto. I also felt like there were going to be a few things that I would need to learn to understand. And it would take patience to understand those things. How could it be that the fortune in that little cookie could put in to words what I was feeling better than I could?

Months later:
Success will come with patience. I read it and had a little smirk on my face. “Yeah, I know,” I wanted to tell the cookie. I could write a book on patience.

Patience is waiting. But waiting with a purpose. Being anxiously engaged in life without being preoccupied with the desired outcome. Making goals and dreams about said outcome, but not letting it take up all of your time. Patience is letting what will come, come, and not complaining about it. It’s optimism. It’s hope. It’s having a smile on your face even when your life feels emptier than it has ever been. It’s faith that your future will be better than the present and anything that the past had to offer.

It's knowledge that you can't control everything. It's accepting that fact and then doing all you can to control at least some things.
 
It's being 24 years old in Utah and unmarried but convinced that life has never been better. Ever.
It's doing nice things for people who don't really deserve it and waiting for them to realize it.
It's being a friend to someone who isn't a friend back.
It's teaching my mom how to upload pictures onto facebook.
It's understanding that people don't always act the way you want them to but loving them anyway.
It's explaining something ten times without getting angry.
 
I may not know a lot of things but I do know a thing or two about patience. Yes, I may roll my eyes every time I hear someone say that all I need is patience and good things will happen. But deep down, in my optomistic soul, I believe it. Patience will solve all of my problems.
Because I have faith in what God has promised me for my life.
 
So here I am. Patiently waiting for my future to stop being such a mystery, for a friend to act like they are truly my friend, for my prince to come, for the snow to melt, for the semester to end, and for my happily ever after.
 
Yay patience.

city life

i LOVE the city.

i got to walk around salt lake city for a while this week. and i just loved it. i loved the busy streets, the trains that would pass by, the starting and stopping of the buses. i loved riding public transportation. i loved having to cross the street every block and waiting for the green lights. i loved the tall buildings that have a way of making me feel so small and yet so important because i'm in the city on business. i love how sounds echo off of the sides of the buildings because the sound is trapped. thunder was incredible to listen to.

most of all i love that it reminds me of Korea and the time i spend walking the streets of cities with millions and millions of people in them. i loved being involved in the busy life. i loved the people. i loved the tall tall buildings. i even loved the smell of second hand smoke after a while because it reminded me of the big cities.

so i think i could move to a big city.



(as long as i don't have to walk the streets at night. CREEPY. and as long as i don't have to go places alone. lonely and CREEPY. and as long as i don't have to drive on the streets. STRESSFUL. and as long as it's not to expensive. so...... yeah.)

p.s. i do love little cedar with it's 3 grocery stores and i love that it only takes 10 minutes to drive across the whole place and i love that i go into stores and always see someone i know. but come on, cities are awesome too.