5K

A few weeks ago my dad, the legendary ultra runner Davy Crockett, told me about a racing series this month that he was going to do. It started out with a 5K today, a 10K in two weeks, and in four weeks it'll be a 15K. Now, all these races are pretty optimistic for my actual ability, but after thinking about it, I decided to sign up and convinced my roommate Annalie to sign up with me.

Our reasoning behind this is that we need races to keep us going and to keep us motivated to improve. Like I said in my other post, if I quit now it will be so hard to start again, so I'm just never going to stop. I have to keep it up.

Today was our 5K. I was EXCITED all week for this. I knew I could do it, even if I had to stop to walk here and there, and I knew it would be exciting to run with other people. 

We ran at the Salt Palace in Salt Lake City. It was a warm 31 degrees this morning. (Warm for me! We have been running in 19 degree weather some days outdoors. I was happy it was so warm.)

Running was good. For the most part. It was a foggy foggy day and I was breathing a lot harder than normal. I ran pretty well! I stopped a few times for about 30 seconds or so, and then kept going. I ended up finishing about 38 minutes or so. Not too bad. I'll try harder next time.

It was fun. I'm excited for the next race in two weeks! Wahoo!

 

 

Bittersweet and Big

I am so excited to announce that I have accepted a position at Riverton Hospital on the Med/Surg unit. I probably literally danced around a whole bunch the day I found out. I'm so excited to continue in my career and learn more of what being a nurse is about.

I have loved my job at Heritage. Really and truly, most days I would come home and I would think about my patients and really care about my job. At first my job was so stressful and I would come home and just dissolve into tears, wondering if it was worth it. Then it became worth it once I knew what to do and how to do most things.

We had a nursing class reunion a few months after I started my job and I was able to talk with a bunch of people in my class about our jobs. I was THE ONLY ONE who could honestly say that I loved my job. I was so nervous about telling people I worked at a Care Center while they all worked at fancy hospitals. But guess what? I actually loved what I did. I felt so lucky.

Of course I didn't love every day. Some days were too stressful to remember and others were boring. There are things I wish I didn't have to worry about (like water heaters, supply deliveries, putting admits in the computer, answering phones, etc.) but I have learned to figure things out very quickly.

I always thought it would be the end of the world to work at a care center when I was in nursing school. But now I couldn't imagine a better start for my career. I have learned so much, used almost every single skill I've ever learned in school, and I've learned to rely on my team, my knowledge, and really care for patients. I've also learned to handle stress better than I ever have in my life.

What I'll miss most of all are my co-workers. I had the best managers, the most amazing CNAs, and some of the funnest conversations ever. I hope we'll all see each other here and there and I hope we'll work together one day. I met the best people ever. Like LaChelle, Sarah, Rebecca, Valeriia, Andrea, Chad, Jennifer, Greg, Nate, Aubrey, Brandy, Mandy, Lacey, Q, Val, Amy, and so many more that I know I'm forgetting. Amazing people. I can only hope that my new co-workers are half as awesome as these ones were.

I'm sad to leave. But I'm happy also. It's bringing a lot of thoughts and emotions. But all in all, I'm excited for my life. This is a huge change. Huge.

:D And I'm happy.

 

Obsessed

I found an obsession. 

In a million years I didn't think I would ever get obsessed with running. Wait, a billion years. 

Running and I have never been friends. We've been enemies since I can remember. Those mile runs in elementary school around the playground, playing soccer and the coach making us run a few laps around the field, running drills in basketball. "Fun runs" in jr high. So I picked swimming, a sport that didn't require any running. Until high school, when our team captains loved to torture us with runs. 

I think the farthest I ever ran and pushed myself in high school was a quarter mile. It was an "Indian run" that nearly made me throw up. 

I had knee problems in high school with swimming and so I didn't have to run anymore my senior year. I still worked hard at swimming and swam at state. But I was always so sad that I could never run.

My dad became obsessed with running in 2002 or so. His midlife crisis. Suddenly he was a trail runner and ran crazy distances. I thought he was crazy. I would mention it to friends and people I knew and they were amazed. Sometimes I even met people who read his blog and treated him like some sort of running celebrity.

In college I wanted to try running again. I signed up for the ROTC class and quickly learned that is was possible to throw up while you run. It was hard. I was embarrassed. So I bought a gym pass and tried to work out a couple more times a week in preparation for the Friday runs. I still couldn't do it and I knew I would fail the class, so I dropped out. I failed. It was depressing.

During nursing school, Annalie and I took up running for a bit but started out doing too much too soon and so I hurt my knees and stopped running. I had gotten to the point where I could say that I actually liked to run. But then it was too hard to start up again.

This last October, Annalie and I went to the Pony Express Trail 50 and 100 that my dad puts on. It was fun times camping and cheering. But we were sitting at the finish while people older than us were finishing 50 mile runs. It was inspiring to see how accomplished they felt afterwards and to see their determination. 

Annalie and I joked about running 50 next year. And in the middle of our joking it became a reality and the next week we laced up our shoes and headed out the door, running 45 second intervals to get us up to 10 minutes only four weeks later. 

Now that I have some specific goals and races in mind, like a 5K in a week and a half marathon in June. And of course, the 50 in October. I am obsessed with motivation for racing.

I live and breathe motivation. I'm not sure if its because I'm terrified of not accomplishing my goals. I really want this more than I've wanted anything in a long time. And failing is just not an option. I am not going to get this excited about something and start out with this much momentum and then quit or get set back or fail. I cannot do that. It would be the worst thing. 

I want to run. I want to keep running. I want to be a runner for good. This could be the best thing that has ever happened to me. It feels amazing.

So I'm obsessed. I have to be. I'm so happy at my progress and can't wait to keep going.

Dear Mindy

Dear Mindy of January 2012,

Oh hey! How's it been going? Oh yeah, I totally remember.
You were SO ready for 2011 to end. I think it was one of the most stressful years. You ended that year not feeling like yourself and feeling a bit lost.
Well, I'm happy to report that you will become a lot better. In fact, this year is fun. It flies by. But you do a lot and learn a lot and love a lot of experiences.
Work towards your New Year's resolution of going out of the country. But, if you don't succeed, it's going to be okay. You'll do it next year for sure. (I sure hope so, Mindy of 2013.) You sure do try though.
Visit Cyann in February. Take pictures. I know you think you will, but it would be the pits if you came home and realized you only took a few pictures and never got any of you, Annalie, and Cyann together. So, take pictures. Other than that, just enjoy your best friends and their adorable kids.
Go to church. I know you like to sleep, but church is really important. You always have a great testimony, but it helps to keep going to church and trying. Read your scriptures. It'll give you strength because a lot of things in life sucks.
Work takes up most of your thoughts, time, and worries. It's tough some days, and some days you come home wondering why in the world you do what you do. Hang in there, remember to breathe, and find comfort in your co-workers. They are awesome. Welcome change. Don't hold grudges or take things personally. Do what you know you should do and do it your best. You might even learn that so many people depend on and appreciate what you do. And you might even be employee of the month. Don't get discouraged when you think you're not good enough. You are doing the best you can. Love every day even if you don't want to.
Make time for trips. You are going to have a lot of fun exploring the west coast. CA, WY, ID, UT, NM, AZ.... You get around! Be open to new experiences, get excited about going places, and make it a priority. It's important for your sanity.
You buy a car!! You finally figure out you can do it and you make the plunge and buy a very amazing and cute car. It's pretty, it's awesome, and it's your favorite thing ever. Make a good choice.
You move quite a bit this year. Out of Provo, some where not expected, and then to a really good place. Moving gives you the opportunity to start new and bring about change.
Change is good. You become a different person than you were last year. It's a really good thing. The important things about you stay the same, but you're smarter and stronger.
You can handle a lot of things that you didn't think you'd have to handle alone. Find peace in your strength, don't dwell on the things you don't have, and have faith that things will turn out for the better.
Your family is amazing. Take time to get to know them better individually. It will truly add to your happiness.
And when you and Annalie decide that running 50 miles next year is actually not too unrealistic, don't let anyone tell you otherwise and get out there and run! You LOVE running! Miracles happen. And next year, when Mindy of 2013 tells you about the race, you will not be surprised at how it went.
Keep on keeping on, love yourself, take time to go on adventures, and have faith.
2012 was so much better than the year before. And it can only get better from here.

Love,
Mindy of January 2013.

blessed

The other day at work I was in one of my patient's rooms giving him his medication and he was watching a televangelist on TV. I was in the room for about fifteen minutes so I was able to hear quite a bit of what he said. This guy was friendly, charismatic, and persuasive. And his topic? How the Mormon church was made up by a delusional man and the Book of Mormon was fiction.
This preacher told us how he has been studying this topic for over a year and he has been teaching us all of these things. He briefly went over everything he had covered up to that point and then moved on. He talked about history and threw out dates and "facts" here and there. And what he said sounded pretty good, if I didn't already know more about what he was saying.
I wanted to laugh at first, then get angry because he was teaching people to hate something that I know and love with all of my heart.
But you know what? It doesn't matter. And it never will. It doesn't matter what that man thinks or what you think or what anyone else thinks. All that matters is what I know and think.
I know that what I believe is true. I don't understand everything perfectly and there is so much more that I need to learn, but what I do believe, I know. And no one could ever change the fact that I know these things for myself.
I don't believe in my religion because of my parents or my leaders or because someone brain-washed me. I am able to think for myself and I consider myself open minded. And yet I believe all of these things with all my heart.
No one will ever take away what I believe about eternal families, keeping God's commandments, prayer, scriptures, living Prophets, and the temple. I know these things make me happy. I don't want to ever live my life without this knowledge. And I don't have to.
I am blessed and grateful. And although my life is no where near perfect, I'm happy that I have the hope of the gospel of Jesus Christ in my life.

Grand Canyon

Our trip to NYC was suddenly cancelled. I started the week off thinking about flying to NYC, going to the natural history museum, and central park. I did laundry, got everything ready, (all without a car, mind you), and even packed. (I had to pack 2 days before because of work.) 

Then, I woke up on Wednesday morning for work and found out that our flight was canceled. I mean, I guess in hindsight, it was good that we couldn't go because of all the power outages and subways being down. But it would have been better if the hurricane didn't happen at all. For more than just me. 

So, I was at work that day, texting Annalie to cancel our hotel and get our refund for our plane tickets. And I was sad. 

The next day at work, it dawned on me that I still had 5 days off and we could go somewhere. Annalie and I texted back and forth, I asked almost every one of my co-workers where I should go for the weekend, and by the end of my shift we figured out that we would go to the Grand Canyon, stopping in Cedar City on the way, making a detour to Snowflake to see Cyann, and then take an airplane tour of the canyon. It was set.

My mom drove me back to my house (again, no car) and I unpacked my hurricane weather clothes and re packed my Arizona clothes.

I enjoyed my food so much I
took a picture of the finished bowl.

We started off for Arizona on Friday morning. We drove down to Cedar and picked up a few things at Walmart that I had forgotten. We ate some yummy Thai food at Sweet Basil, and tried to see Brittni, but she was locked in the meeting from hell. So we ventured on our way.

Me: Feeling VERY sick. 

I started feeling "car sick" while we were in the car in Cedar. It should have dawned on me that it wasn't car sickness because we weren't even driving when I first felt it. We drove for a few hours, deciding to stop in Page, AZ. We got our hotel room, and I ended up trying to make myself puke for a while. I felt terrible. So sick.

Annalie decided to get me some Pepto while I went into the bathroom and ended up puking a few times. I felt a billion times better after that. But then waves of nausea hit again, and within another hour I puked a couple more times. I fell asleep listening to Annalie watch weird shows on TV. Then woke up after she had fallen asleep and puked again. After that, I was able to sleep. My stomach wasn't the best, but I knew I wouldn't puke again.

I woke up that morning, stopped at a store so I could buy a bunch of drugs and some Sprite, and we headed towards Snowflake.

Drugs to the rescue!

We got there and had to wait for a while for Cyann and Justin to come out of the temple. We got to sit around the temple for a while. Annalie forgot her recommend and I felt like crap, so we sat outside and talked about stuff for a while.

When Cyann and Justin came out, we were so excited to see them! It made all of the puking, cancelled trips, and horrible October worth it. I missed them so much! I'm so glad we can still be super best friends even though we never see each other and we hardly talk. We went over to their grandparent's house where Lily and Chloe were waiting. Lily was SO excited to see us! She kept saying, "I miss you so much!" and "This was a BIG surprise!" I just love them all so much. Chloe is so big and smiley. I can't believe it. Cy and Justin are just the same awesome people as they always are. They try to talk us into moving to Gallup and we try to talk them into moving to SLC.

We finally had to leave them. It was pitch black outside and we had to drive to the Grand Canyon.

We made it to the Grand Canyon around 10 pm. We got a hotel room. It was nice! And we went to sleep.

Sunday morning we got up for our plane ride. We got to the airport, and after not knowing where to go for a while, we figured it out. The airport had so many Koreans there visiting! I loved being able to eavesdrop. However, I would appreciate it in the future if they would talk about more exciting things. Ha.

Our plane was really small. It sat 10 people (including the pilot). We flew over the Canyon for about 45 minutes. The view was spectacular and so amazing. I loved it. We got to listen to a narration and some weird sound track during the ride. Afterwards I came to find out that Annalie and I had both been thinking about how we would have to save everyone if our plane crashed. We came up with a whole much of elaborate scenarios in our head where we would be heroes and use our lifesaving skills. Haha. We're nerds.

We headed to the canyon rim after that. We got out and looked over the edges. Annalie got scared being so close to the end. I love to imagine what it would be like to fall over the edges. Ha. We then walked along the rim trail. It was a nice day. Cool breeze, but warm sun. We ended up walking a little over 5 miles. We stopped at a few overlooks and took  few pictures.

We got hungry, found a place to eat, and then returned saw the IMAX movie about the grand canyon. That was pretty good. Really neat to see the bottom of the canyon. I REALLY want to go river rafting now. 

Then, we were losers, and spent the rest of the night in our hotel room sleeping. It was amazing. Ha.

Monday morning we packed up, ate, and started the drive home. We stopped at the Canyon again to see a few views, stopped in Page to use the bathrooms at the Glen Canyon dam visitor's center, and then made it to Cedar City to finally see Brittni. 

We found her and walked around down town Cedar talking about life. I miss that girl so much.

We drove up north, stopped at my parent's, and then made it home.

It was a good trip. Minus the throwing up and all of the driving we had to do. It was nice to have time off and just leave the state. And I was able to see my best friends. 

All in all, it was really good. 

Oh, and Annalie has some WEIRD music on her iPod. 

October

The month of October has been one of the most busy and stressful months of my life in a long long time.
And it's still going strong with the stress.

Swarley. My new friend.

I bought a new computer. It's amazing and it has been a great purchase. It's helped me rediscover the amazingness of the internet. I've been able to blog again, look at pictures I've taken over the last year, and pay my bills on time. So, pretty much a priceless purchase.

I got in a car accident on October 5th. i was with my friend Ashley Baugh from when I worked at the pool. We decided to finally hang out since it had been like 8 months. And we went to a haunted house. That was actually quite fun, more fun than I thought I would have there.
Afterwards, I was driving in Salt Lake trying to figure out how to get on the freeway, when I was turning left and realized, too late, that I didn't have a green arrow or the right of way and there were 3 lanes of traffic headed straight towards me.
I heard honking, and the next thing I knew, someone had it the passenger side of my car. The first thing I thought was "Not my pretty new car!" 
The next thing I knew, I was staring out of my windshield, the windshield wipers were all on, and Ashley was sitting there, not saying anything, with the airbags inflated around her.
I asked over and over if she was okay. She didn't answer at first, probably shock. We got out of the car and figured out that we were okay. The other car was okay too. No injuries. 
The rest of the night is a blur. It was awkward not knowing what to do or who to talk to or what to do with my car. I hated standing there, knowing it was my fault, and trying to figure it all out. Ashley called her family, and they all came to help. The nicest people on the planet. Seriously.
I finally called my mom back after telling her it happened and hanging up a minute later. She handed the phone to my dad and he talked me through what I'll need to do with my car. 

During the surgery. Poor thing.

That's when I started to cry. I don't really know why. Adrenaline wearing off, gratitude that my dad was being so nice, thankful that it wasn't too bad, and annoyance at the police officers for being so unhelpful.
So that was that night. 
My poor car had been sick and in the hospital for almost 32 days. I guess it was close to being called a total loss, but by a miracle, everything was fixable and my car looks as good as new. It was amazing getting my car back. I missed her.
It really was terrible getting in a car accident. I don't recommend it. I feel stupid, most of all, for the momentary lapse of brain function that must have happened to have this happen in the first place. I am a save driver. I keep thinking that Dan would probably be kicking himself because he taught me better. Mr. Safe-driver. I hope he never finds out this happened.
But I'm so grateful that if I HAD to get in an accident, it happened like it did. No one was hurt. There was no screaming, yelling, or crying (until I cried). I got a ticket, but that's paid off. My car was repaired. And my insurance company has been really great with everything. 

Another thing. You know how I don't love my job. Well, I don't hate it. I'm just sick of it and need a change. Well, the count for job applications is up in the 30's and I finally got a call on a job and a job interview at Primary Children's Medical Center in the OR.
It was such a dream come true. They called on a Thursday, the interview was set up on Monday, and on Tuesday I was nervously waiting in the nurse's lounge for my interview.
I think it went well. I think back on it and replay it in my head and there's not much I would change. I think I did a good job selling myself and letting him know what I was really like and that I would be a good fit. But then I waited a week (that's what they said to do) and I called to bug them a few times, and I still haven't heard anything either way. I'm just going to call it a loss now, but mark my words: one day I will work in the OR at Primary Children's. Just the things he said about the job and the atmosphere of the place let me know that this could definitely be my dream job.
In the mean time, work really hasn't been bad at all. My new manager has made things a billion times better, I feel like I've learned a ton and keep learning, and most of my co-workers are awesome. 

In church news, I was finally able to go to church in October after not being there since the beginning of September. I got a calling on the activities committee of our ward. Kind of a new experience for me, but I'm sure it will be good. I also was asked to speak that Sunday (the one Sunday I got to go to church in October). I did a good job, I hope. I really enjoyed speaking and that people know who I am now.

The next Sunday I worked, and by some small miracle, I got off work 10 minutes earlier than normal. I wanted to get home to my parent's house because my family was there and I like to see them. But in my slightly excited state, I drove too fast and got pulled over. I can't catch a break. I got a speeding ticket. The first once in almost 10 years of driving. I had to pay even more money for it and take traffic school online. Now that I've been educated, you can bet I'm the safest driver in the world now. You know the kind; they completely stop at intersections even when no one is there, they never run yellow lights, they go a little bit below the speed limit. So yeah, I've now aged 50 years and have even MORE anxiety when I drive.

I got to tell you, all of these stressful things were hard to deal with, but what kept me going was knowing that I was going on a trip to NYC the first weekend of November. I was excited. I kept thinking about riding in a plane, seeing Broadway plays, and eating good food in Korea town! I told everyone I knew about this trip. I was so excited.
And then....
Sandy.
That b*#@!. She wrecked the whole East Coast. I feel so bad for everyone that was effected. I was following the damage closely on the news. And then, the morning before we were going to leave, we officially found out that our flight was cancelled. So that went out the window.
We ended up going to the Grand Canyon. That was interesting and exciting. I'll write about that later.

Dad and Kevin at the race.

To combat the stress? Annalie and I took up running again. I haven't seriously ran in over two years. And when I did for a little while, it only last a few weeks until my knees hurt. But this time, I got a knee brace, made a plan, and we've stuck to it for 4 weeks now. I can now run a mile. I'm really excited about it. It feels great.

We decided to start running again after we went and watched my dad's race, the Pony Express trail run 2012. My brother Kevin ran 50 miles. And it is just inspiring to see so many people run for hours and hours on end. I would love to be able to do that. I'm not saying that I will for sure run a 50 mile race anytime soon, but I would love to be able to head out my door and run where I wanted to go. Plus, free therapy and stress relief. 


Well, this was all around just a weird month. Bad and worse and a little bit of good too. I'm glad it's over and that I can move on. One day I'll be grateful for these experiences. I always wonder why things don't work out the way I planned them to. It's frustrating. Especially when I feel like my life has always been exactly opposite of what I have planned. But one day, I'm sure, it will all work out and I'll know the why behind everything.