This weekend/week has been great.
Because I have the best siblings in the universe. 5 of my best friends in the world.
I got to play at davy's with him and Camden. Video games, flooring his house, going to di, cafe rio, skyping natalie, listening to weird pod casts. So fun.
My whole family (minus mom, natalie, and Ryan) went to the rodeo. I got to sit by Kevin. He's hilarious. I loved when the yellow cowgirl came out and he yelled, "hey banana!!" or when he saw the purple cowgirl and yelled, "grimace!" hahaha....
I beat Jon at Chinese checkers. Of course, he won twice playing skip-Bo. Darn him. He's so funny.
Lowy and I made a pillow case for her pillow. Then we watched a show where they made cookies. So we had not make cookie dough. But she was out of sugar. So we went shopping. She made some delicious cookie dough! Yum! Happy birthday on Sunday too! 21!? Again?!? Haha....
Can't leave Ryan out. Every Sunday at church i write him a letter while I'm sitting in sacrament meeting. Haha. He almost got shot last week. Ha. And he pukes at least twice a week. I miss him.
Connor is a funny kid. We watch phineas and ferb. I took him to di. And I had him come to davy's today for a while and told I'm to stay. They have been playing video games for about 8 hours now. Ha. We have also been fighting all week about who has to have the dog sleep with them. He helped me make lowy's cake.
Good times. Love it.
Monday, June 27, 2011
Sunday, June 19, 2011
a week
hung out with mom and sister.
beat jon at settler's of catan.
i applied for 5 jobs in one day. got a headache.
was surprized with a present and awesome cake for becoming a nurse.
made a pie.
had snuggle time with brittni.
rode my bike to annalie's.
did tae bo.
and zumba.
went camping! at red cliffs.
skipped a rock 7 times.
balanced a spoon on my nose.
got depressed while playing the game of life.
got maybe 4 hours of sleep while camping.
jumped off a rock into some water.
hiked.
forgave.
took a deep nap. so deep i forgot where and who i was when i woke up.
bought boy shorts at walmart.
went grocery shopping.
cleaned my closet.
drove to manti.
watched the manti pageant with brother and sister-in-law and the world's cutest nephew.
drove home by myself in the middle of the night.
our house was deemed "unsafe" due to carbon monoxide. no more gas for us.
witnessed truly bipolar weather.
made dinner.
got addicted to "private practice."
i liked this week.
beat jon at settler's of catan.
i applied for 5 jobs in one day. got a headache.
was surprized with a present and awesome cake for becoming a nurse.
made a pie.
had snuggle time with brittni.
rode my bike to annalie's.
did tae bo.
and zumba.
went camping! at red cliffs.
skipped a rock 7 times.
balanced a spoon on my nose.
got depressed while playing the game of life.
got maybe 4 hours of sleep while camping.
jumped off a rock into some water.
hiked.
forgave.
took a deep nap. so deep i forgot where and who i was when i woke up.
bought boy shorts at walmart.
went grocery shopping.
cleaned my closet.
drove to manti.
watched the manti pageant with brother and sister-in-law and the world's cutest nephew.
drove home by myself in the middle of the night.
our house was deemed "unsafe" due to carbon monoxide. no more gas for us.
witnessed truly bipolar weather.
made dinner.
got addicted to "private practice."
i liked this week.
Sunday, June 12, 2011
brain thoughts
I'm an RN!!!
I don't think I'll ever tire of saying that. I'm so excited that I accomplished this.
Now I get to figure out life. You know, beg for jobs, figure out where I should live, and see what life's next adventures will bring. It's been confusing. Part of me has an idea of this great life that I can start soon. I get excited about it and plan for it and feel good about it. But then I have a second thought and a whole other plan creeps up and takes hold. Then I plan and fantasize and think. And it happens again. I wish I could see the future.
I'm really glad I got to go to the temple on Saturday. It was needed. I don't know how else to put it. I've been having some sad days lately. Sometimes I need the temple to help me get the sad out and sort through my feelings and thoughts so I can breathe again. Maybe it is terrible of me, but I could hardly pay attention. My thoughts were racing and piling up so quickly that I had to sort through them while I was there. It took all that I had in me not to freak out about the amount of thoughts and emotions that were going through my head. This makes me sound weird. But I am. I don't think I figured anything out 100%. But I came to understand a few things that I should probably do. Ugh........ I'm SO vague. Let's just say life isn't totally happy yet, but I have a few ideas on how to make it a little bit brighter.
Ever since I bought my "boat" I have dreams about going out to some lake somewhere and just rowing across for hours. Seriously. I'll just row and row to the sound of the breeze and birds. I'm alone. And it's so peaceful. I don't think I've been this excited about something I've purchased in a long long time.
I went to Lagoon with Annalie's family and my brother Connor on Friday. I really liked it. And really liked hanging out with my little brother. He reminds me so much of Ryan when he was younger. And I love hanging out with Ryan. So it was a lot of fun. It made me miss Ryan.
I added a list on the side bar of my blog. It's my summer to do list. I figure if I write it down and tell people about it then they can remind me to work on it. Especially all those goals that involve running. I really did get to a point once where I liked it a lot. Then that point faded and was replaced with loathing again. Anyway, these goals will happen. I'm sure of it.
I listened to all of my brother Davy's podcasts. It's called desert bears. Find it on itunes. Him and his friends are hilarious. I think they talk about nerdy things but some of them are really funny. It just reminds me of the fact that I have 4 of the most hilarious, awesome, and cool brothers in the world. Oh. Make that 5. Because my brother-in-law is awesome too.
Today in church a lady who was my young woman leader back when I was 14 commented on how well I have grown up. She said, "If only we knew then where your life would have taken you now, you would have been so excited!" I just kept thinking about that. And I really think I would have been excited. I'm really glad I'm not the same person I was in high school. My sister and I talked about that yesterday. We're totally different. And so much better. Like an upgraded version of myself. What a relief to know that I don't have to be the same. Sometimes change is the best thing.
I guess that's about it. I'm pretty sure all my blog posts are lame for those of you who actually read them. I really find these posts when I can just spew out my brain thoughts to be therapeutic. So... you can bet there will be more. My apologies.
I don't think I'll ever tire of saying that. I'm so excited that I accomplished this.
Now I get to figure out life. You know, beg for jobs, figure out where I should live, and see what life's next adventures will bring. It's been confusing. Part of me has an idea of this great life that I can start soon. I get excited about it and plan for it and feel good about it. But then I have a second thought and a whole other plan creeps up and takes hold. Then I plan and fantasize and think. And it happens again. I wish I could see the future.
I'm really glad I got to go to the temple on Saturday. It was needed. I don't know how else to put it. I've been having some sad days lately. Sometimes I need the temple to help me get the sad out and sort through my feelings and thoughts so I can breathe again. Maybe it is terrible of me, but I could hardly pay attention. My thoughts were racing and piling up so quickly that I had to sort through them while I was there. It took all that I had in me not to freak out about the amount of thoughts and emotions that were going through my head. This makes me sound weird. But I am. I don't think I figured anything out 100%. But I came to understand a few things that I should probably do. Ugh........ I'm SO vague. Let's just say life isn't totally happy yet, but I have a few ideas on how to make it a little bit brighter.
Ever since I bought my "boat" I have dreams about going out to some lake somewhere and just rowing across for hours. Seriously. I'll just row and row to the sound of the breeze and birds. I'm alone. And it's so peaceful. I don't think I've been this excited about something I've purchased in a long long time.
I went to Lagoon with Annalie's family and my brother Connor on Friday. I really liked it. And really liked hanging out with my little brother. He reminds me so much of Ryan when he was younger. And I love hanging out with Ryan. So it was a lot of fun. It made me miss Ryan.
I added a list on the side bar of my blog. It's my summer to do list. I figure if I write it down and tell people about it then they can remind me to work on it. Especially all those goals that involve running. I really did get to a point once where I liked it a lot. Then that point faded and was replaced with loathing again. Anyway, these goals will happen. I'm sure of it.
I listened to all of my brother Davy's podcasts. It's called desert bears. Find it on itunes. Him and his friends are hilarious. I think they talk about nerdy things but some of them are really funny. It just reminds me of the fact that I have 4 of the most hilarious, awesome, and cool brothers in the world. Oh. Make that 5. Because my brother-in-law is awesome too.
Today in church a lady who was my young woman leader back when I was 14 commented on how well I have grown up. She said, "If only we knew then where your life would have taken you now, you would have been so excited!" I just kept thinking about that. And I really think I would have been excited. I'm really glad I'm not the same person I was in high school. My sister and I talked about that yesterday. We're totally different. And so much better. Like an upgraded version of myself. What a relief to know that I don't have to be the same. Sometimes change is the best thing.
I guess that's about it. I'm pretty sure all my blog posts are lame for those of you who actually read them. I really find these posts when I can just spew out my brain thoughts to be therapeutic. So... you can bet there will be more. My apologies.
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
memorial weekend
i'm a triathlete. it's a true story. the swimming was easy. the biking killed my butt. and the 5k was a 5k. i liked it. and it is possible that i'll want to do it again.
i bought a boat. not a boat, boat. but an inflatable raft. but it's not a raft raft. it's a boat. so yeah. it's awesome. i took it out on the lake with my little brother over the weekend. and we had lots of fun riding around. yesterday i took it to a pool and had lots of fun in the deep end rowing in circles. lily loved it. i did too. best purchase ever. i can't wait to take it all over the place.
i went to sarah's ward on sunday. her relief society was normal. i mean, normal. there was no "good news minute" or "miralce moment" or "point fingers at the less active members moment." and it didn't take them 40 minutes to get started. they started within the first ten minutes. i think my jaw was on the floor the whole time. it was a miracle. maybe i'll have to share that this week at my ward's "miracle moment."
sarah made me korean food on sunday. we ate kimchi chigae. and it was fantastic. so was our conversation. she's great. she helps me remember that not all of my friends are jerks. only one is.
i really love having family dinners. on memorial day my siblings all came over and we grilled up some steaks. kevin's steaks were fantastic. and making baby camden laugh was our favorite activity. we're just the coolest group of people. i think everyone should be jealous of my family.
the weather needs to be warmer. sometimes it's warm. but sometimes it's not. looking outside today it tells a windy, cold, sad kind of story. my skin deserves better. so i think i'll go to st. george again today.
oh. i am studying for the nclex. it's next week. i haven't gotten sick with nervousness yet. i probably should. but i'm studying. no worries.
i bought a boat. not a boat, boat. but an inflatable raft. but it's not a raft raft. it's a boat. so yeah. it's awesome. i took it out on the lake with my little brother over the weekend. and we had lots of fun riding around. yesterday i took it to a pool and had lots of fun in the deep end rowing in circles. lily loved it. i did too. best purchase ever. i can't wait to take it all over the place.
i went to sarah's ward on sunday. her relief society was normal. i mean, normal. there was no "good news minute" or "miralce moment" or "point fingers at the less active members moment." and it didn't take them 40 minutes to get started. they started within the first ten minutes. i think my jaw was on the floor the whole time. it was a miracle. maybe i'll have to share that this week at my ward's "miracle moment."
sarah made me korean food on sunday. we ate kimchi chigae. and it was fantastic. so was our conversation. she's great. she helps me remember that not all of my friends are jerks. only one is.
i really love having family dinners. on memorial day my siblings all came over and we grilled up some steaks. kevin's steaks were fantastic. and making baby camden laugh was our favorite activity. we're just the coolest group of people. i think everyone should be jealous of my family.
the weather needs to be warmer. sometimes it's warm. but sometimes it's not. looking outside today it tells a windy, cold, sad kind of story. my skin deserves better. so i think i'll go to st. george again today.
oh. i am studying for the nclex. it's next week. i haven't gotten sick with nervousness yet. i probably should. but i'm studying. no worries.
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
this is a test
i'm checking my e-mail for the hundreth time that day. when all of a sudden i get it. THE e-mail. the e-mail from pearson-vue finally telling me that i can schedule my test! i can finally take the NCLEX and start planning my life.
of course, i'm checking my e-mail on my ipod and so when i try to log on to the website to schedule the test, my ipod decides not to pick up any internet connection. the page loads half way, takes forever, and then maybe shows me a few words on the screen.
i'm finally logged in and i can access a calendar and all of the dates are closed except tomorrow, July 4th, and August 18. WHAT?!? "i don't want to wait! i'm getting stupider by the minute!" i hurry and click the July 4th date and decide that i need to consult annalie and cyann to see when they're taking it.
but then i realize. i only have my ipod. not my phone. i can't call them. i'll just have to go see them.
i go out of my apartment and see daron, james, and russell all heading over to the school. of course! i still have one more final to complete before graduation!
i catch up with them and talk about what date they signed up for the NCLEX. they didn't even know they could yet. i'm glad i told them. they all start freaking out and pulling out their smart phones to log on and sign up.
as i'm walking around the parking lot i realize that my car is missing. my CAR?! it's GONE! WHAT!?! i tell james that i can't find my car anywhere. so all four of us start searching the parking lot for my car.
after the fruitless search we know the worst is true. someone stole my car. i won't be able to get to the final and i won't be able to go up to Draper to take my test on July 4th.
stress and despair envelope me.
i finally decide to just ride with daron even though we're all late anyway.
"i'm never going to pass this test. i'm never going to get there. i'm never going to be a nurse," i tell myself as i still in the back seat of the car.
that's what i dream about, folks. this stupid test is ruining my waking hours as well as my sleeping hours.
Argh! I just want to know when i can take this stupid test!!!
of course, i'm checking my e-mail on my ipod and so when i try to log on to the website to schedule the test, my ipod decides not to pick up any internet connection. the page loads half way, takes forever, and then maybe shows me a few words on the screen.
i'm finally logged in and i can access a calendar and all of the dates are closed except tomorrow, July 4th, and August 18. WHAT?!? "i don't want to wait! i'm getting stupider by the minute!" i hurry and click the July 4th date and decide that i need to consult annalie and cyann to see when they're taking it.
but then i realize. i only have my ipod. not my phone. i can't call them. i'll just have to go see them.
i go out of my apartment and see daron, james, and russell all heading over to the school. of course! i still have one more final to complete before graduation!
i catch up with them and talk about what date they signed up for the NCLEX. they didn't even know they could yet. i'm glad i told them. they all start freaking out and pulling out their smart phones to log on and sign up.
as i'm walking around the parking lot i realize that my car is missing. my CAR?! it's GONE! WHAT!?! i tell james that i can't find my car anywhere. so all four of us start searching the parking lot for my car.
after the fruitless search we know the worst is true. someone stole my car. i won't be able to get to the final and i won't be able to go up to Draper to take my test on July 4th.
stress and despair envelope me.
i finally decide to just ride with daron even though we're all late anyway.
"i'm never going to pass this test. i'm never going to get there. i'm never going to be a nurse," i tell myself as i still in the back seat of the car.
that's what i dream about, folks. this stupid test is ruining my waking hours as well as my sleeping hours.
Argh! I just want to know when i can take this stupid test!!!
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
summer?
i wish that my life was more interesting.
but summer started.
i guess it officially started after i got back from my graduation ceremony on saturday night. my family came in the house, said goodbye, and got on the road to head home 5 minutes later. my mom did slip me a 20 and told me to go out to dinner.
okay....
brittni and i had my post graduation dinner at the thai place over by walmart. it was SO good. we got a 7 on the scale of 1-10 spicy-ness. and then decided next time we should ask for a 10. Maybe 11??
hmmm....
church is now at 11. it's nice. i had some weird dream sunday morning about me seeing a psychiatrist about my life depression problems and i couldn't remember ever meeting him. but he prescribed me a benzodiazapine and an SSRI, so i guess it was serious.
maybe the universe is telling me that i have problems. and need drugs.
relief society is so ridiculous lately. no offense to anyone who actually can feel the spirit after 20 minutes of "tell us why you should brag about your life" minute or "what stupid thing can you pretend was a miracle" moment. brittni and i took a walk before relief soceity to avoid the nonsense. but 20 minutes later, when we sat down, they were just starting the announcements.
this week our walk will be 30 minutes long.
i had plans of riding my bike a lot this week. but the weather thought otherwise. i took a walk in the snow on monday. got so cold that i had to sit in a blanket for a while afterwards. yesterday it was rain. today it's just cold.
i just want to camp every day of my life.
i don't know if i'm ready to be a grown up. i guess my college degree says i am. i wish i could just stay where i am for the summer. just 4 months. that's not a long time. i also wish that i won't run out of money.
so i guess i'm wishing for a miracle.
hmm.
gross.
i guess it officially started after i got back from my graduation ceremony on saturday night. my family came in the house, said goodbye, and got on the road to head home 5 minutes later. my mom did slip me a 20 and told me to go out to dinner.
okay....
brittni and i had my post graduation dinner at the thai place over by walmart. it was SO good. we got a 7 on the scale of 1-10 spicy-ness. and then decided next time we should ask for a 10. Maybe 11??
hmmm....
church is now at 11. it's nice. i had some weird dream sunday morning about me seeing a psychiatrist about my life depression problems and i couldn't remember ever meeting him. but he prescribed me a benzodiazapine and an SSRI, so i guess it was serious.
relief society is so ridiculous lately. no offense to anyone who actually can feel the spirit after 20 minutes of "tell us why you should brag about your life" minute or "what stupid thing can you pretend was a miracle" moment. brittni and i took a walk before relief soceity to avoid the nonsense. but 20 minutes later, when we sat down, they were just starting the announcements.
this week our walk will be 30 minutes long.
i had plans of riding my bike a lot this week. but the weather thought otherwise. i took a walk in the snow on monday. got so cold that i had to sit in a blanket for a while afterwards. yesterday it was rain. today it's just cold.
i just want to camp every day of my life.
i don't know if i'm ready to be a grown up. i guess my college degree says i am. i wish i could just stay where i am for the summer. just 4 months. that's not a long time. i also wish that i won't run out of money.
so i guess i'm wishing for a miracle.
hmm.
gross.
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