October

The month of October has been one of the most busy and stressful months of my life in a long long time.
And it's still going strong with the stress.

Swarley. My new friend.

I bought a new computer. It's amazing and it has been a great purchase. It's helped me rediscover the amazingness of the internet. I've been able to blog again, look at pictures I've taken over the last year, and pay my bills on time. So, pretty much a priceless purchase.

I got in a car accident on October 5th. i was with my friend Ashley Baugh from when I worked at the pool. We decided to finally hang out since it had been like 8 months. And we went to a haunted house. That was actually quite fun, more fun than I thought I would have there.
Afterwards, I was driving in Salt Lake trying to figure out how to get on the freeway, when I was turning left and realized, too late, that I didn't have a green arrow or the right of way and there were 3 lanes of traffic headed straight towards me.
I heard honking, and the next thing I knew, someone had it the passenger side of my car. The first thing I thought was "Not my pretty new car!" 
The next thing I knew, I was staring out of my windshield, the windshield wipers were all on, and Ashley was sitting there, not saying anything, with the airbags inflated around her.
I asked over and over if she was okay. She didn't answer at first, probably shock. We got out of the car and figured out that we were okay. The other car was okay too. No injuries. 
The rest of the night is a blur. It was awkward not knowing what to do or who to talk to or what to do with my car. I hated standing there, knowing it was my fault, and trying to figure it all out. Ashley called her family, and they all came to help. The nicest people on the planet. Seriously.
I finally called my mom back after telling her it happened and hanging up a minute later. She handed the phone to my dad and he talked me through what I'll need to do with my car. 

During the surgery. Poor thing.

That's when I started to cry. I don't really know why. Adrenaline wearing off, gratitude that my dad was being so nice, thankful that it wasn't too bad, and annoyance at the police officers for being so unhelpful.
So that was that night. 
My poor car had been sick and in the hospital for almost 32 days. I guess it was close to being called a total loss, but by a miracle, everything was fixable and my car looks as good as new. It was amazing getting my car back. I missed her.
It really was terrible getting in a car accident. I don't recommend it. I feel stupid, most of all, for the momentary lapse of brain function that must have happened to have this happen in the first place. I am a save driver. I keep thinking that Dan would probably be kicking himself because he taught me better. Mr. Safe-driver. I hope he never finds out this happened.
But I'm so grateful that if I HAD to get in an accident, it happened like it did. No one was hurt. There was no screaming, yelling, or crying (until I cried). I got a ticket, but that's paid off. My car was repaired. And my insurance company has been really great with everything. 

Another thing. You know how I don't love my job. Well, I don't hate it. I'm just sick of it and need a change. Well, the count for job applications is up in the 30's and I finally got a call on a job and a job interview at Primary Children's Medical Center in the OR.
It was such a dream come true. They called on a Thursday, the interview was set up on Monday, and on Tuesday I was nervously waiting in the nurse's lounge for my interview.
I think it went well. I think back on it and replay it in my head and there's not much I would change. I think I did a good job selling myself and letting him know what I was really like and that I would be a good fit. But then I waited a week (that's what they said to do) and I called to bug them a few times, and I still haven't heard anything either way. I'm just going to call it a loss now, but mark my words: one day I will work in the OR at Primary Children's. Just the things he said about the job and the atmosphere of the place let me know that this could definitely be my dream job.
In the mean time, work really hasn't been bad at all. My new manager has made things a billion times better, I feel like I've learned a ton and keep learning, and most of my co-workers are awesome. 

In church news, I was finally able to go to church in October after not being there since the beginning of September. I got a calling on the activities committee of our ward. Kind of a new experience for me, but I'm sure it will be good. I also was asked to speak that Sunday (the one Sunday I got to go to church in October). I did a good job, I hope. I really enjoyed speaking and that people know who I am now.

The next Sunday I worked, and by some small miracle, I got off work 10 minutes earlier than normal. I wanted to get home to my parent's house because my family was there and I like to see them. But in my slightly excited state, I drove too fast and got pulled over. I can't catch a break. I got a speeding ticket. The first once in almost 10 years of driving. I had to pay even more money for it and take traffic school online. Now that I've been educated, you can bet I'm the safest driver in the world now. You know the kind; they completely stop at intersections even when no one is there, they never run yellow lights, they go a little bit below the speed limit. So yeah, I've now aged 50 years and have even MORE anxiety when I drive.

I got to tell you, all of these stressful things were hard to deal with, but what kept me going was knowing that I was going on a trip to NYC the first weekend of November. I was excited. I kept thinking about riding in a plane, seeing Broadway plays, and eating good food in Korea town! I told everyone I knew about this trip. I was so excited.
And then....
Sandy.
That b*#@!. She wrecked the whole East Coast. I feel so bad for everyone that was effected. I was following the damage closely on the news. And then, the morning before we were going to leave, we officially found out that our flight was cancelled. So that went out the window.
We ended up going to the Grand Canyon. That was interesting and exciting. I'll write about that later.

Dad and Kevin at the race.

To combat the stress? Annalie and I took up running again. I haven't seriously ran in over two years. And when I did for a little while, it only last a few weeks until my knees hurt. But this time, I got a knee brace, made a plan, and we've stuck to it for 4 weeks now. I can now run a mile. I'm really excited about it. It feels great.

We decided to start running again after we went and watched my dad's race, the Pony Express trail run 2012. My brother Kevin ran 50 miles. And it is just inspiring to see so many people run for hours and hours on end. I would love to be able to do that. I'm not saying that I will for sure run a 50 mile race anytime soon, but I would love to be able to head out my door and run where I wanted to go. Plus, free therapy and stress relief. 


Well, this was all around just a weird month. Bad and worse and a little bit of good too. I'm glad it's over and that I can move on. One day I'll be grateful for these experiences. I always wonder why things don't work out the way I planned them to. It's frustrating. Especially when I feel like my life has always been exactly opposite of what I have planned. But one day, I'm sure, it will all work out and I'll know the why behind everything.

a day

i get to work. 10 minutes early. because i get nervous that i'll be late. and because i like to get started right on time. i know it's going to be a crazy day just because i'm working on the rehab floor. it's definition crazy.
i get report. i learn of what's been going on. i haven't worked this floor in about two weeks. so things have changed.
i start my med pass. morning meds are the hardest. everyone has at least 6 pills. then there's the iv's. and the breathing treamtments. the blood sugar checks. insulin. eye drops. and everyone remembers that they need pain pills. and i have to wait to get blood pressures for a few people.
my cna's come up to me at least 3 times. "so and so is feeling nauseated." "what's her face is refusing breakfast," "what's his bucket thinks he has a doctor's appointment today."
and oh, the phone. rings off the hook. and half of the calls are for me. "Mindy, you have a call on line one." "Rehab nurse, you have a doctor holding on line 3." "Rehab, you have a call on line one." An endless game. Sometimes they're important. like the lab. "uh..... so we came to draw that lab last night but didn't put the blood in the right tube. do you still want it done?" "Uh... YES." sometimes they're kind of annoying. "you're my mom's nurse. how is she doing?" and i'm thinking, "which one is that? i think i walked into her room and saw her for 1 minute this morning."
"Oh yeah. She's doing great."
Then therapy comes up to me. "So and so doesn't look to well. You should check him out."
Ok..... add that on my to do list.
i get the morning meds done. and figure out what wound treatments i have left to do. then i remember the to do list.
i check him out. he doesn't look too good.
ask my manager. because i still don't know what i should really be doing in some situations.
then i get to order a chest x-ray. call the place. figure out i did it wrong. call the place again. order a UA to be drawn. put "get urine sample" on my to do list.
keep going....
what's her face is being discharged today. yippee. i've never done a discharge before. ask a bunch of questions to another nurse. get the papers figured out. put "finish papers" on my to do list.
phone call. it's the lab. what's his bucket has critically low lab values. Potassium and Sodium. Oh great, what do I do with that? Go to manager's office. Ask questions. Get some answers. But not all. Go check on patient.
Call the doctor.
He's only rude about three times. Like, "You didn't answer my question." or "You are just talking about nothing." or "You don't know anything about this patient."
feel stupid. brush it off. tell the managers whats going on. they handle some things. they tell me to order labs. i write them on my to do list.
........ where was i?
patient's family complains about bed. send them to social services. patient complains about room. send him to social services. question about insurance. send her to social serives.
afternoon meds? i guess it's about that time?
X-ray comes. she makes me stop what i'm doing to help her. really?....................
patient's family comes to pick her up. oh yeah......... about that paper work. i grab papers. forget to grab all of them. go back to get them. back in the room. forget some more papers. ugh..... i sign, fill out, explain, smile. and then send them on their way.
computer charting really fast.
oh, yeah. my med pass.
manager comes and says, "Mindy, I made taco soup. You should go eat some. It's in the break room."
I want to say, "Have you seen my to do list lately? It's crazy."
Treatments. dress some wounds. check some surgical sites. looks beautiful.
lab comes. "Hey, have you got that urine sample yet?"
crap.
grab a catheter, a tube, and biohazard bag. 10 minutes later i've got it all figured out. hand it to the lab lady.
"so and so won't let me draw her blood."
okay...........................
i diffuse that problem. so and so is about to cry. and i just have to tell her it's okay.
oh yeah, and pass out pills to everyone again.
i guess i should chart too... but... wait, where are my charts? someone stole my charts!
i get everything i can done.
i'm hungry. i'm tired. i'm exhausted. i'm spinning.
the next nurse comes on to relieve me.
THANK YOU.
i give report. tell him about my day.
now i get to go home.
after i find my charts..........................

this is a test

i'm checking my e-mail for the hundreth time that day. when all of a sudden i get it. THE e-mail. the e-mail from pearson-vue finally telling me that i can schedule my test! i can finally take the NCLEX and start planning my life.
of course, i'm checking my e-mail on my ipod and so when i try to log on to the website to schedule the test, my ipod decides not to pick up any internet connection. the page loads half way, takes forever, and then maybe shows me a few words on the screen.
i'm finally logged in and i can access a calendar and all of the dates are closed except tomorrow, July 4th, and August 18. WHAT?!? "i don't want to wait! i'm getting stupider by the minute!" i hurry and click the July 4th date and decide that i need to consult annalie and cyann to see when they're taking it.
but then i realize. i only have my ipod. not my phone. i can't call them. i'll just have to go see them.
i go out of my apartment and see daron, james, and russell all heading over to the school. of course! i still have one more final to complete before graduation!
i catch up with them and talk about what date they signed up for the NCLEX. they didn't even know they could yet. i'm glad i told them. they all start freaking out and pulling out their smart phones to log on and sign up.
as i'm walking around the parking lot i realize that my car is missing. my CAR?! it's GONE! WHAT!?! i tell james that i can't find my car anywhere. so all four of us start searching the parking lot for my car.
after the fruitless search we know the worst is true. someone stole my car. i won't be able to get to the final and i won't be able to go up to Draper to take my test on July 4th.
stress and despair envelope me.
i finally decide to just ride with daron even though we're all late anyway.
"i'm never going to pass this test. i'm never going to get there. i'm never going to be a nurse," i tell myself as i still in the back seat of the car.

that's what i dream about, folks. this stupid test is ruining my waking hours as well as my sleeping hours.
Argh! I just want to know when i can take this stupid test!!!

learn

let's take a moment to re-educate ourselves.

now, i realize i am not perfect when it comes to grammar and spelling. especially spelling. and yes, i don't usually like to use capitol letters when i type. but i feel it a need to educate the masses on something that truly BUGS me when it's used incorrectly.

let's take a trip back to second grade. remember when our teacher told us that we weren't supposed to be putting ourselves first in a sentence when there were two people in the sentence? for instance, "me and brittni went to the store." that's not polite. so our teacher told us to switch it. then it became "brittni and me went to the store." then teacher explained that we couldn't use me for a subject. think of it. if brittni wasn't there and it was just me, then i couldn't say "me went to the store." you sound stupid.

so we were taught about how we need to use "I" instead. "Brittni and I went to da club."

well, the lesson didn't end there. but i tend to think that most of the second graders stopped listening because the thought of changing all of their sentences to include those new rules boggled them. but guess who didn't stop listening? and who already knew those rules anyway because i had older brothers that liked to be smart and teach me things? ME.

teacher went on to say that you only used I if you were the subject of the sentence. even if there were two people. like "She went to the store with Brittni and I." that doesn't work, people. Not at all. It's "she went to the store with Brittni and me." true story. i'm not lying.

you only use "person and I" when you're the subject. meaning, when you could replace it with "We." Like "We went to the store." You don't use it at the end of sentences. Me is used when it's the object. it's not rude, it's proper. use me when you can replace it with "us." like "she went to the store with us." never would you say "Us went to the store" or "she went to the store with we." but that's what most people say when they use I and me wrong.

get it?

don't worry. i'm pretty sure most of the general public doesn't. it just makes you look stupid, people. i know that you think you're trying to use proper grammar by using "I", but it's making it blatantly obvious that you didn't pay attention in second grade. by trying to use I in place of yourself for everything you're making yourself look stupid. so if that's what you're going for, then fine.

i guess i'll just have to learn how to deal with people who didn't pay attention in second grade and hope to educate the masses about this. until i learn how to do that i'll still judge you and think that you're stupid.