me. right now.

i'm ACLS certified. don't know what that is? well.... stop breathing and tell your heart to stop beating. and if i have the right equipment and drugs nearby i can save your life. but really now, i'm pretty excited about it. just another step closer to getting my RN.

festival of colors was successful. i think i loved it a lot.

my nephew is A.D.O.R.A.B.L.E. i can't get enough of that kid. this weekend he was looking at my dog and laughing his head off every time she would move. it was the best.

so of course that means i'm SO super excited that my sister is having a baby boy!!! the first nephew turned out adorable. and if this new one is anything like camden, he'll be another love of my life. i'm SO excited for lauren and jon!

i spent way too long doing homework today. and i don't have much to show for it. it's getting tiring. i hate pretending to care about assignments. most of them are ridiculously time consuming and pointless. i know that i'm almost done. i've never understood the statement "so close yet so far" as much as i do now.

i passed my comprehensive predictor test. i did well. and it makes me a little bit hopeful about my future.

i finally decided what kind of nurse i want to be. i want to work on the cardiovascular floor at a hospital. i worked there during my preceptorship and i loved learning. i loved knowing the heart rhythms and medications and everything about that floor. my ACLS class solidified my interest and love for anything cardiac. so i'm crossing my fingers that this happens for me someday soon.

i'm happy with life. but i guess i'm not quite as strong as i thought i was. i still allow some things to influence what i do even though i hate it. i still let things bug me even though i'm over them. i still wonder all the time what i could do differently even though i like who i am. when i think i'm over things, something else comes up and the emotions that rise up in me make me wonder if i really am.

i want to go to the beach. it's not one of those, "ah..... that'd be nice to go to the beach" things, it's a "IF I DON'T GO TO THE BEACH IN THE NEAR FUTURE SOMEONE IS GOING TO GET CUT" thing. i'm planning this trip. i'm going to graduate, take and pass the NCLEX and then go to the beach to celebrate my genius. it will happen. IT WILL HAPPEN.

i guess that's life right now.

Just a little note.

Just a little note

My hair is blonde. I thought that's what i wanted but I'm having second thoughts. And third. And fourth thoughts.

It's spring break (Whoo!) and I stayed in Cedar for the first time. It's been nice so far besides the long long list of homework that I need to do that constantly haunts me in the back of my mind. But I'm happy I stayed. I sort of wish I was there to help best friend while he's in a sad place, but I'm happy I stayed nonetheless.

Adele's voice is life changing. Brittni showed me her music the other day. I'm pretty sure I'll be purchasing her albums and blasting them all week in my house so I can practice singing beautifully like her.

Happy birthday to Cyann, one of the best friends in the world. I'm really blessed in the friendship department. I'm pretty sure God sent me the best. I don't know how I deserve it, but hey, I'll take it.

I'm so excited for my sister to have a baby. So excited. Mainly because nephew #1 turned out to be the cutest little guy and instant love of my life. I can't wait to have another nephew/niece.

I like telling people stories about my siblings. And then I realize how cool they all are. I'm lucky that my siblings are the wittiest, funniest people alive. We win.

Lately when people ask me about my plans for after school I blow up in an angry rage and usually end up yelling something like, "it's not as easy as you think!" That magical nursing "shortage" was years ago, people. It's not an easy ticket to getting a job. I can't just pick where I want and live happily ever after. And also, I'm praying about what to do next and I still don't have the answers. But I feel a move away from Cedar is inevitable no matter how much I love it here. *sigh*

I wouldn't mind being able to see into the future.

I sat out in the sun on Sunday and Tuesday. Thus beginning my yearly ritual of tempting the fates and seeing how dark my skin can get before my mom freaks out about skin cancer.

I made three pies on Monday for pi day. I'm a domestic goddess. And so I should automatically get a husband for that.

I like teaching gospel doctrine at church a whole lot. My favorite part is over preparing and trying to be an expert on all of the bible stories only to realize that when I actually do teach I never get hard questions or get enough time to teach everything I prepared. Last Sunday I did go five minutes over time but i taught everything I prepared. It was great. Second favorite part is that best friend teaches the same weeks I do so we share ideas.

I'm hating school. My classes are pointless and I feel like I'm getting stupider as the days go because I'm not learning much that relates to nursing. Learning about leadership won't help me remember that the therapeutic level of digoxin in the body is 0.5-2.0ng/dl. (I missed that on a test today...)

All in all I've been really really happy lately. Since I came back from Christmas break I can only remember having 3 days where I wasn't happy. Only 3. Record? Probably. I'm just grateful for the people in my life, for where I'm at, and for where I'm going.

Plus it's hard not to be happy when its Spring break! Whoo!!

hair

high school blonde

little mermaid red

return to the blonde-ness



my favorite shade of red



missionary brown

terrible red...... gross

dark dark dark

blonde hi-lights

another dark

favorite dark

the blue i had for 48 hours. loved it.

my current color. racing stripes. LOVE. IT.