Showing posts with label nursing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label nursing. Show all posts
Saturday, March 2, 2013
to those who care
Friday, January 25, 2013
Bittersweet and Big
I am so excited to announce that I have accepted a position at Riverton Hospital on the Med/Surg unit. I probably literally danced around a whole bunch the day I found out. I'm so excited to continue in my career and learn more of what being a nurse is about.
I have loved my job at Heritage. Really and truly, most days I would come home and I would think about my patients and really care about my job. At first my job was so stressful and I would come home and just dissolve into tears, wondering if it was worth it. Then it became worth it once I knew what to do and how to do most things.
We had a nursing class reunion a few months after I started my job and I was able to talk with a bunch of people in my class about our jobs. I was THE ONLY ONE who could honestly say that I loved my job. I was so nervous about telling people I worked at a Care Center while they all worked at fancy hospitals. But guess what? I actually loved what I did. I felt so lucky.
Of course I didn't love every day. Some days were too stressful to remember and others were boring. There are things I wish I didn't have to worry about (like water heaters, supply deliveries, putting admits in the computer, answering phones, etc.) but I have learned to figure things out very quickly.
I always thought it would be the end of the world to work at a care center when I was in nursing school. But now I couldn't imagine a better start for my career. I have learned so much, used almost every single skill I've ever learned in school, and I've learned to rely on my team, my knowledge, and really care for patients. I've also learned to handle stress better than I ever have in my life.
What I'll miss most of all are my co-workers. I had the best managers, the most amazing CNAs, and some of the funnest conversations ever. I hope we'll all see each other here and there and I hope we'll work together one day. I met the best people ever. Like LaChelle, Sarah, Rebecca, Valeriia, Andrea, Chad, Jennifer, Greg, Nate, Aubrey, Brandy, Mandy, Lacey, Q, Val, Amy, and so many more that I know I'm forgetting. Amazing people. I can only hope that my new co-workers are half as awesome as these ones were.
I'm sad to leave. But I'm happy also. It's bringing a lot of thoughts and emotions. But all in all, I'm excited for my life. This is a huge change. Huge.
:D And I'm happy.
I have loved my job at Heritage. Really and truly, most days I would come home and I would think about my patients and really care about my job. At first my job was so stressful and I would come home and just dissolve into tears, wondering if it was worth it. Then it became worth it once I knew what to do and how to do most things.
We had a nursing class reunion a few months after I started my job and I was able to talk with a bunch of people in my class about our jobs. I was THE ONLY ONE who could honestly say that I loved my job. I was so nervous about telling people I worked at a Care Center while they all worked at fancy hospitals. But guess what? I actually loved what I did. I felt so lucky.
Of course I didn't love every day. Some days were too stressful to remember and others were boring. There are things I wish I didn't have to worry about (like water heaters, supply deliveries, putting admits in the computer, answering phones, etc.) but I have learned to figure things out very quickly.
I always thought it would be the end of the world to work at a care center when I was in nursing school. But now I couldn't imagine a better start for my career. I have learned so much, used almost every single skill I've ever learned in school, and I've learned to rely on my team, my knowledge, and really care for patients. I've also learned to handle stress better than I ever have in my life.
What I'll miss most of all are my co-workers. I had the best managers, the most amazing CNAs, and some of the funnest conversations ever. I hope we'll all see each other here and there and I hope we'll work together one day. I met the best people ever. Like LaChelle, Sarah, Rebecca, Valeriia, Andrea, Chad, Jennifer, Greg, Nate, Aubrey, Brandy, Mandy, Lacey, Q, Val, Amy, and so many more that I know I'm forgetting. Amazing people. I can only hope that my new co-workers are half as awesome as these ones were.
I'm sad to leave. But I'm happy also. It's bringing a lot of thoughts and emotions. But all in all, I'm excited for my life. This is a huge change. Huge.
:D And I'm happy.
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
glimpse
Yesterday I started talking to one of my patients.
He’s LDS and our past conversations led him to understand
that I was LDS as well. I tend not to give a lot of personal information about
myself to my patients. You never know, you know? But he learned this and we had
a connection.
He had a rough day. But I’ll be darned if he didn’t smile
genuinely every time I walked into the room.
We were talking when I gave him his pills just before
dinner. I had only 45 more minutes of working and I just wanted to go home. I
wanted to leave the room quickly and just get things done. But I knew that I
was his favorite nurse and so I stayed in the room to talk to him.
He told me how much he appreciated me. And explained how I
light up the room when I walk in.
I don’t know how to respond to such amazing compliments as
that. So I just deflected and told him how much I appreciated his words and his
positive attitude. It really is a pleasure to have patients like him.
He stated, “I’m just trying to live how the Savior taught
and would have us live.”
He said "us." It didn't mean "members of the church." It meant him and me.
I got caught off guard. He put me in a category with himself. I thought about how strong he must be. To go
through all that he’s gone through: Divorce, remarrying, putting his wife in a nursing
home, moving all over the country, living with diseases, and having a 5 bypass
surgery. And yet every other thing he says glorifies God and all of his
blessings. And he put me in a category with himself.
I’ve been in a place lately where I feel like I’m not doing
anything right. And it was as if he opened up the spiritual door that I have
closed when he verbalized his motto in life. When he invited the Savior and his
teachings into our conversation.
Again, he said that I have a light and a spirit about me. He
said righteous people light the world from inside out. He said he could see
that in me and in the way I treat everyone.
Part of me wanted to stop him and tell him how I haven’t
been to church in a few weeks, how I hate my ward, how sometimes I swear, watch
rated R movies, think bad about Provo Mormons, wish I didn’t have to go to
church, how I don’t read my scriptures
often enough, don’t write in my journal, how I don’t pray enough, I’m
ungrateful, my temple recommend is expired, I don’t even want to go to the
temple some days, and how terrible of a person I feel like all the time.
But I listened. And wow. He took all my words away. I couldn’t
even reply to all the wonderful things he was saying about me.
I forgot about all the good things about me. But for those
five minutes that I stayed in his room I got a glimpse again.
Monday, December 5, 2011
i'm a dandy
i still love my job. okay... some days i don't. like when i have someone tell me that i'm getting 4 admits. and even worse, i found out, was the day after having 4 admits. fixing orders, trying to explain things to families, calling doctors, and trying to have a smile while doing it.
but then there are these moments that make everything worth it.
like when i walk into a patient's room and she smiles from ear to ear, takes my hand, and starts tearing up as she says, "I'm SO glad you're my nurse today. I just love it when you're here. You are a perfect nurse. I just love you."
true story. :)
plus, there is this adorable old man who likes to follow me around all day because he doesn't really know what else to do or what's going on. his dementia makes things really entertaining for us both. like how he asks the same question to me 7 times in one hour.
whenever i have to walk away from the nurses stations he gets a little anxious and asks, "where are you going?" and i tell him i'll be right back. when i come back he says, "i thought you'd abandoned me!" and i reassure him.
but i surprised myself the other day when i walked back to the nurses station and he was gone. i found myself looking around for him, and when he walked up i said, "i thought you'd abandoned me!"
he's so fun. and he told me i'm his favorite nurse. he said, "you're a special one. you're a dandy."
i love that!
some days i walk down the hall at work and think about how lucky i am to be a nurse. and how much i have really grown to love working at a care center. i think one day i still want to try out different specialties, but i'm so relieved and happy that i'm perfectly content with my job right now and that it is something i enjoy.
but then there are these moments that make everything worth it.
like when i walk into a patient's room and she smiles from ear to ear, takes my hand, and starts tearing up as she says, "I'm SO glad you're my nurse today. I just love it when you're here. You are a perfect nurse. I just love you."
true story. :)
plus, there is this adorable old man who likes to follow me around all day because he doesn't really know what else to do or what's going on. his dementia makes things really entertaining for us both. like how he asks the same question to me 7 times in one hour.
whenever i have to walk away from the nurses stations he gets a little anxious and asks, "where are you going?" and i tell him i'll be right back. when i come back he says, "i thought you'd abandoned me!" and i reassure him.
but i surprised myself the other day when i walked back to the nurses station and he was gone. i found myself looking around for him, and when he walked up i said, "i thought you'd abandoned me!"
he's so fun. and he told me i'm his favorite nurse. he said, "you're a special one. you're a dandy."
i love that!
some days i walk down the hall at work and think about how lucky i am to be a nurse. and how much i have really grown to love working at a care center. i think one day i still want to try out different specialties, but i'm so relieved and happy that i'm perfectly content with my job right now and that it is something i enjoy.
Friday, November 11, 2011
a moment
yesterday one of my patients passed away.
since working, i've had only 4 people i've taken care of pass away.
but this one was the first one that happened on my shift.
i'm not depressed or anything. i just feel like this is a moment i'll remember forever.
she was the sweetest little lady. so cute. so happy. she was confused most of the time. and i admit that half of the fun of taking care of her was hearing all the funny things she would say.
they had a little spot light on her the month before in the care center news letter. i don't remember everything, except that her husband asked her to marry him on their first date and she was an amazing cook. i tried to remember those things about her when i took care of her.
yesterday she took a turn for the worse. they moved her into a private room so her family could be by her side. she wasn't doing well. i was relieved when her son showed up at 3. i knew she didn't have long.
then, around four, one of my aides came up to me and told me that her son thought she stopped breathing.
i went into the room and instantly knew. she was gone. i had to do something nurse-y. so i got down beside her bed and tried to feel for a pulse. nothing.
i said in an almost whisper, "i can't find a pulse." and her son fell apart. he grabbed my hand and held it tightly as he cried. i teared up. i'm the type of person that does that. i empathize a little too much sometimes.
he let go of my hand and thanked me for taking care of her.
it was hard to leave the room and go on about my job like nothing was going on in that room. someone's life just changed forever. and yet i had a patient bugging me to give him his pills. wow.
i've just been thinking about this a bit. like i said, i'm okay; not depressed. and i think i handled it all very well. i think i'll remember her for the rest of my life. what a moment.
i love nursing.
Sunday, October 2, 2011
a day
i get to work. 10 minutes early. because i get nervous that i'll be late. and because i like to get started right on time. i know it's going to be a crazy day just because i'm working on the rehab floor. it's definition crazy.
i get report. i learn of what's been going on. i haven't worked this floor in about two weeks. so things have changed.
i start my med pass. morning meds are the hardest. everyone has at least 6 pills. then there's the iv's. and the breathing treamtments. the blood sugar checks. insulin. eye drops. and everyone remembers that they need pain pills. and i have to wait to get blood pressures for a few people.
my cna's come up to me at least 3 times. "so and so is feeling nauseated." "what's her face is refusing breakfast," "what's his bucket thinks he has a doctor's appointment today."
and oh, the phone. rings off the hook. and half of the calls are for me. "Mindy, you have a call on line one." "Rehab nurse, you have a doctor holding on line 3." "Rehab, you have a call on line one." An endless game. Sometimes they're important. like the lab. "uh..... so we came to draw that lab last night but didn't put the blood in the right tube. do you still want it done?" "Uh... YES." sometimes they're kind of annoying. "you're my mom's nurse. how is she doing?" and i'm thinking, "which one is that? i think i walked into her room and saw her for 1 minute this morning."
"Oh yeah. She's doing great."
Then therapy comes up to me. "So and so doesn't look to well. You should check him out."
Ok..... add that on my to do list.
i get the morning meds done. and figure out what wound treatments i have left to do. then i remember the to do list.
i check him out. he doesn't look too good.
ask my manager. because i still don't know what i should really be doing in some situations.
then i get to order a chest x-ray. call the place. figure out i did it wrong. call the place again. order a UA to be drawn. put "get urine sample" on my to do list.
keep going....
what's her face is being discharged today. yippee. i've never done a discharge before. ask a bunch of questions to another nurse. get the papers figured out. put "finish papers" on my to do list.
phone call. it's the lab. what's his bucket has critically low lab values. Potassium and Sodium. Oh great, what do I do with that? Go to manager's office. Ask questions. Get some answers. But not all. Go check on patient.
Call the doctor.
He's only rude about three times. Like, "You didn't answer my question." or "You are just talking about nothing." or "You don't know anything about this patient."
feel stupid. brush it off. tell the managers whats going on. they handle some things. they tell me to order labs. i write them on my to do list.
........ where was i?
patient's family complains about bed. send them to social services. patient complains about room. send him to social services. question about insurance. send her to social serives.
afternoon meds? i guess it's about that time?
X-ray comes. she makes me stop what i'm doing to help her. really?....................
patient's family comes to pick her up. oh yeah......... about that paper work. i grab papers. forget to grab all of them. go back to get them. back in the room. forget some more papers. ugh..... i sign, fill out, explain, smile. and then send them on their way.
computer charting really fast.
oh, yeah. my med pass.
manager comes and says, "Mindy, I made taco soup. You should go eat some. It's in the break room."
I want to say, "Have you seen my to do list lately? It's crazy."
Treatments. dress some wounds. check some surgical sites. looks beautiful.
lab comes. "Hey, have you got that urine sample yet?"
crap.
grab a catheter, a tube, and biohazard bag. 10 minutes later i've got it all figured out. hand it to the lab lady.
"so and so won't let me draw her blood."
okay...........................
i diffuse that problem. so and so is about to cry. and i just have to tell her it's okay.
oh yeah, and pass out pills to everyone again.
i guess i should chart too... but... wait, where are my charts? someone stole my charts!
i get everything i can done.
i'm hungry. i'm tired. i'm exhausted. i'm spinning.
the next nurse comes on to relieve me.
THANK YOU.
i give report. tell him about my day.
now i get to go home.
after i find my charts..........................
i get report. i learn of what's been going on. i haven't worked this floor in about two weeks. so things have changed.
i start my med pass. morning meds are the hardest. everyone has at least 6 pills. then there's the iv's. and the breathing treamtments. the blood sugar checks. insulin. eye drops. and everyone remembers that they need pain pills. and i have to wait to get blood pressures for a few people.
my cna's come up to me at least 3 times. "so and so is feeling nauseated." "what's her face is refusing breakfast," "what's his bucket thinks he has a doctor's appointment today."
and oh, the phone. rings off the hook. and half of the calls are for me. "Mindy, you have a call on line one." "Rehab nurse, you have a doctor holding on line 3." "Rehab, you have a call on line one." An endless game. Sometimes they're important. like the lab. "uh..... so we came to draw that lab last night but didn't put the blood in the right tube. do you still want it done?" "Uh... YES." sometimes they're kind of annoying. "you're my mom's nurse. how is she doing?" and i'm thinking, "which one is that? i think i walked into her room and saw her for 1 minute this morning."
"Oh yeah. She's doing great."
Then therapy comes up to me. "So and so doesn't look to well. You should check him out."
Ok..... add that on my to do list.
i get the morning meds done. and figure out what wound treatments i have left to do. then i remember the to do list.
i check him out. he doesn't look too good.
ask my manager. because i still don't know what i should really be doing in some situations.
then i get to order a chest x-ray. call the place. figure out i did it wrong. call the place again. order a UA to be drawn. put "get urine sample" on my to do list.
keep going....
what's her face is being discharged today. yippee. i've never done a discharge before. ask a bunch of questions to another nurse. get the papers figured out. put "finish papers" on my to do list.
phone call. it's the lab. what's his bucket has critically low lab values. Potassium and Sodium. Oh great, what do I do with that? Go to manager's office. Ask questions. Get some answers. But not all. Go check on patient.
Call the doctor.
He's only rude about three times. Like, "You didn't answer my question." or "You are just talking about nothing." or "You don't know anything about this patient."
feel stupid. brush it off. tell the managers whats going on. they handle some things. they tell me to order labs. i write them on my to do list.
........ where was i?
patient's family complains about bed. send them to social services. patient complains about room. send him to social services. question about insurance. send her to social serives.
afternoon meds? i guess it's about that time?
X-ray comes. she makes me stop what i'm doing to help her. really?....................
patient's family comes to pick her up. oh yeah......... about that paper work. i grab papers. forget to grab all of them. go back to get them. back in the room. forget some more papers. ugh..... i sign, fill out, explain, smile. and then send them on their way.
computer charting really fast.
oh, yeah. my med pass.
manager comes and says, "Mindy, I made taco soup. You should go eat some. It's in the break room."
I want to say, "Have you seen my to do list lately? It's crazy."
Treatments. dress some wounds. check some surgical sites. looks beautiful.
lab comes. "Hey, have you got that urine sample yet?"
crap.
grab a catheter, a tube, and biohazard bag. 10 minutes later i've got it all figured out. hand it to the lab lady.
"so and so won't let me draw her blood."
okay...........................
i diffuse that problem. so and so is about to cry. and i just have to tell her it's okay.
oh yeah, and pass out pills to everyone again.
i guess i should chart too... but... wait, where are my charts? someone stole my charts!
i get everything i can done.
i'm hungry. i'm tired. i'm exhausted. i'm spinning.
the next nurse comes on to relieve me.
THANK YOU.
i give report. tell him about my day.
now i get to go home.
after i find my charts..........................
Monday, September 5, 2011
in no particular order...
My nursing class as achieved the impossible! 100% pass rate on the first try for the NCLEX! It's an AMAZING feeling and I've never been so proud of us! I hope we get to celebrate soon! I just love them all! We're all slowly getting jobs too. Taking over the world, really. We ROCK.
I live in provo now. It's different. From what I had and what i expected. I like my roommates a lot. My ward is impressive. I like it so far. I like living close to family and my nephews. I like being so close to the temple. And wow, there are a lot more stores to choose from than just Lins, Smiths, and Walmart here. So weird! Downsides include BYU football season, BYU students, BYU being close by, and uh... BYU. But, be proud. I've only accidentally made fun of one BYU student.... that I know of.
I went to the temple on Saturday. I haven't wanted to go for a while. I feel bad about that. But the second to last time I went, my life problems multiplied by ten afterwards. And the last time I went I ended up crying. A lot. In the temple. ha. But this time....... I don't know. It was good. But I still feel so conflicted about life. Ugh........... I don't know what to say except I sort of came home feeling a little depressed. And that shouldn't happen. So.......... weird.
I think I'm going to do something crazy soon. Stay tuned.
I have about ten thousand dreams a night lately. It's almost like I don't sleep when I sleep. It hasn't been this bad since around March, when I would have rather stayed up all night than sleep. It's getting to that point. Maybe I need drugs......... hmmm.....
My job is still going okay. I am getting the hang of some things. Like my first shift it took me 4 1/2 hours to pass out the morning meds. And last week my time was 2 1/2 hours. So that's good. I still freak out if I hear the word "admit" floating in the air. And I still have a hard time telling people that I am, in fact, the nurse, despite my lack of knowledge. I'll get more confidence and start feeling better soon, I'm sure. It really is getting better. So that's good.
I can't believe that summer is over. It's weird that I moved. And that all my friends are moving away too. I guess that's what happens in life. You start over in a place, make that place your home, and then when you leave you add about 100 more people onto the list of people you will miss. I just wish that list wasn't so long.
I live in provo now. It's different. From what I had and what i expected. I like my roommates a lot. My ward is impressive. I like it so far. I like living close to family and my nephews. I like being so close to the temple. And wow, there are a lot more stores to choose from than just Lins, Smiths, and Walmart here. So weird! Downsides include BYU football season, BYU students, BYU being close by, and uh... BYU. But, be proud. I've only accidentally made fun of one BYU student.... that I know of.
I went to the temple on Saturday. I haven't wanted to go for a while. I feel bad about that. But the second to last time I went, my life problems multiplied by ten afterwards. And the last time I went I ended up crying. A lot. In the temple. ha. But this time....... I don't know. It was good. But I still feel so conflicted about life. Ugh........... I don't know what to say except I sort of came home feeling a little depressed. And that shouldn't happen. So.......... weird.
I think I'm going to do something crazy soon. Stay tuned.
I have about ten thousand dreams a night lately. It's almost like I don't sleep when I sleep. It hasn't been this bad since around March, when I would have rather stayed up all night than sleep. It's getting to that point. Maybe I need drugs......... hmmm.....
My job is still going okay. I am getting the hang of some things. Like my first shift it took me 4 1/2 hours to pass out the morning meds. And last week my time was 2 1/2 hours. So that's good. I still freak out if I hear the word "admit" floating in the air. And I still have a hard time telling people that I am, in fact, the nurse, despite my lack of knowledge. I'll get more confidence and start feeling better soon, I'm sure. It really is getting better. So that's good.
I can't believe that summer is over. It's weird that I moved. And that all my friends are moving away too. I guess that's what happens in life. You start over in a place, make that place your home, and then when you leave you add about 100 more people onto the list of people you will miss. I just wish that list wasn't so long.
Sunday, June 12, 2011
brain thoughts
I'm an RN!!!
I don't think I'll ever tire of saying that. I'm so excited that I accomplished this.
Now I get to figure out life. You know, beg for jobs, figure out where I should live, and see what life's next adventures will bring. It's been confusing. Part of me has an idea of this great life that I can start soon. I get excited about it and plan for it and feel good about it. But then I have a second thought and a whole other plan creeps up and takes hold. Then I plan and fantasize and think. And it happens again. I wish I could see the future.
I'm really glad I got to go to the temple on Saturday. It was needed. I don't know how else to put it. I've been having some sad days lately. Sometimes I need the temple to help me get the sad out and sort through my feelings and thoughts so I can breathe again. Maybe it is terrible of me, but I could hardly pay attention. My thoughts were racing and piling up so quickly that I had to sort through them while I was there. It took all that I had in me not to freak out about the amount of thoughts and emotions that were going through my head. This makes me sound weird. But I am. I don't think I figured anything out 100%. But I came to understand a few things that I should probably do. Ugh........ I'm SO vague. Let's just say life isn't totally happy yet, but I have a few ideas on how to make it a little bit brighter.
Ever since I bought my "boat" I have dreams about going out to some lake somewhere and just rowing across for hours. Seriously. I'll just row and row to the sound of the breeze and birds. I'm alone. And it's so peaceful. I don't think I've been this excited about something I've purchased in a long long time.
I went to Lagoon with Annalie's family and my brother Connor on Friday. I really liked it. And really liked hanging out with my little brother. He reminds me so much of Ryan when he was younger. And I love hanging out with Ryan. So it was a lot of fun. It made me miss Ryan.
I added a list on the side bar of my blog. It's my summer to do list. I figure if I write it down and tell people about it then they can remind me to work on it. Especially all those goals that involve running. I really did get to a point once where I liked it a lot. Then that point faded and was replaced with loathing again. Anyway, these goals will happen. I'm sure of it.
I listened to all of my brother Davy's podcasts. It's called desert bears. Find it on itunes. Him and his friends are hilarious. I think they talk about nerdy things but some of them are really funny. It just reminds me of the fact that I have 4 of the most hilarious, awesome, and cool brothers in the world. Oh. Make that 5. Because my brother-in-law is awesome too.
Today in church a lady who was my young woman leader back when I was 14 commented on how well I have grown up. She said, "If only we knew then where your life would have taken you now, you would have been so excited!" I just kept thinking about that. And I really think I would have been excited. I'm really glad I'm not the same person I was in high school. My sister and I talked about that yesterday. We're totally different. And so much better. Like an upgraded version of myself. What a relief to know that I don't have to be the same. Sometimes change is the best thing.
I guess that's about it. I'm pretty sure all my blog posts are lame for those of you who actually read them. I really find these posts when I can just spew out my brain thoughts to be therapeutic. So... you can bet there will be more. My apologies.
I don't think I'll ever tire of saying that. I'm so excited that I accomplished this.
Now I get to figure out life. You know, beg for jobs, figure out where I should live, and see what life's next adventures will bring. It's been confusing. Part of me has an idea of this great life that I can start soon. I get excited about it and plan for it and feel good about it. But then I have a second thought and a whole other plan creeps up and takes hold. Then I plan and fantasize and think. And it happens again. I wish I could see the future.
I'm really glad I got to go to the temple on Saturday. It was needed. I don't know how else to put it. I've been having some sad days lately. Sometimes I need the temple to help me get the sad out and sort through my feelings and thoughts so I can breathe again. Maybe it is terrible of me, but I could hardly pay attention. My thoughts were racing and piling up so quickly that I had to sort through them while I was there. It took all that I had in me not to freak out about the amount of thoughts and emotions that were going through my head. This makes me sound weird. But I am. I don't think I figured anything out 100%. But I came to understand a few things that I should probably do. Ugh........ I'm SO vague. Let's just say life isn't totally happy yet, but I have a few ideas on how to make it a little bit brighter.
Ever since I bought my "boat" I have dreams about going out to some lake somewhere and just rowing across for hours. Seriously. I'll just row and row to the sound of the breeze and birds. I'm alone. And it's so peaceful. I don't think I've been this excited about something I've purchased in a long long time.
I went to Lagoon with Annalie's family and my brother Connor on Friday. I really liked it. And really liked hanging out with my little brother. He reminds me so much of Ryan when he was younger. And I love hanging out with Ryan. So it was a lot of fun. It made me miss Ryan.
I added a list on the side bar of my blog. It's my summer to do list. I figure if I write it down and tell people about it then they can remind me to work on it. Especially all those goals that involve running. I really did get to a point once where I liked it a lot. Then that point faded and was replaced with loathing again. Anyway, these goals will happen. I'm sure of it.
I listened to all of my brother Davy's podcasts. It's called desert bears. Find it on itunes. Him and his friends are hilarious. I think they talk about nerdy things but some of them are really funny. It just reminds me of the fact that I have 4 of the most hilarious, awesome, and cool brothers in the world. Oh. Make that 5. Because my brother-in-law is awesome too.
Today in church a lady who was my young woman leader back when I was 14 commented on how well I have grown up. She said, "If only we knew then where your life would have taken you now, you would have been so excited!" I just kept thinking about that. And I really think I would have been excited. I'm really glad I'm not the same person I was in high school. My sister and I talked about that yesterday. We're totally different. And so much better. Like an upgraded version of myself. What a relief to know that I don't have to be the same. Sometimes change is the best thing.
I guess that's about it. I'm pretty sure all my blog posts are lame for those of you who actually read them. I really find these posts when I can just spew out my brain thoughts to be therapeutic. So... you can bet there will be more. My apologies.
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
memorial weekend
i'm a triathlete. it's a true story. the swimming was easy. the biking killed my butt. and the 5k was a 5k. i liked it. and it is possible that i'll want to do it again.
i bought a boat. not a boat, boat. but an inflatable raft. but it's not a raft raft. it's a boat. so yeah. it's awesome. i took it out on the lake with my little brother over the weekend. and we had lots of fun riding around. yesterday i took it to a pool and had lots of fun in the deep end rowing in circles. lily loved it. i did too. best purchase ever. i can't wait to take it all over the place.
i went to sarah's ward on sunday. her relief society was normal. i mean, normal. there was no "good news minute" or "miralce moment" or "point fingers at the less active members moment." and it didn't take them 40 minutes to get started. they started within the first ten minutes. i think my jaw was on the floor the whole time. it was a miracle. maybe i'll have to share that this week at my ward's "miracle moment."
sarah made me korean food on sunday. we ate kimchi chigae. and it was fantastic. so was our conversation. she's great. she helps me remember that not all of my friends are jerks. only one is.
i really love having family dinners. on memorial day my siblings all came over and we grilled up some steaks. kevin's steaks were fantastic. and making baby camden laugh was our favorite activity. we're just the coolest group of people. i think everyone should be jealous of my family.
the weather needs to be warmer. sometimes it's warm. but sometimes it's not. looking outside today it tells a windy, cold, sad kind of story. my skin deserves better. so i think i'll go to st. george again today.
oh. i am studying for the nclex. it's next week. i haven't gotten sick with nervousness yet. i probably should. but i'm studying. no worries.
i bought a boat. not a boat, boat. but an inflatable raft. but it's not a raft raft. it's a boat. so yeah. it's awesome. i took it out on the lake with my little brother over the weekend. and we had lots of fun riding around. yesterday i took it to a pool and had lots of fun in the deep end rowing in circles. lily loved it. i did too. best purchase ever. i can't wait to take it all over the place.
i went to sarah's ward on sunday. her relief society was normal. i mean, normal. there was no "good news minute" or "miralce moment" or "point fingers at the less active members moment." and it didn't take them 40 minutes to get started. they started within the first ten minutes. i think my jaw was on the floor the whole time. it was a miracle. maybe i'll have to share that this week at my ward's "miracle moment."
sarah made me korean food on sunday. we ate kimchi chigae. and it was fantastic. so was our conversation. she's great. she helps me remember that not all of my friends are jerks. only one is.
i really love having family dinners. on memorial day my siblings all came over and we grilled up some steaks. kevin's steaks were fantastic. and making baby camden laugh was our favorite activity. we're just the coolest group of people. i think everyone should be jealous of my family.
the weather needs to be warmer. sometimes it's warm. but sometimes it's not. looking outside today it tells a windy, cold, sad kind of story. my skin deserves better. so i think i'll go to st. george again today.
oh. i am studying for the nclex. it's next week. i haven't gotten sick with nervousness yet. i probably should. but i'm studying. no worries.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
this is a test
i'm checking my e-mail for the hundreth time that day. when all of a sudden i get it. THE e-mail. the e-mail from pearson-vue finally telling me that i can schedule my test! i can finally take the NCLEX and start planning my life.
of course, i'm checking my e-mail on my ipod and so when i try to log on to the website to schedule the test, my ipod decides not to pick up any internet connection. the page loads half way, takes forever, and then maybe shows me a few words on the screen.
i'm finally logged in and i can access a calendar and all of the dates are closed except tomorrow, July 4th, and August 18. WHAT?!? "i don't want to wait! i'm getting stupider by the minute!" i hurry and click the July 4th date and decide that i need to consult annalie and cyann to see when they're taking it.
but then i realize. i only have my ipod. not my phone. i can't call them. i'll just have to go see them.
i go out of my apartment and see daron, james, and russell all heading over to the school. of course! i still have one more final to complete before graduation!
i catch up with them and talk about what date they signed up for the NCLEX. they didn't even know they could yet. i'm glad i told them. they all start freaking out and pulling out their smart phones to log on and sign up.
as i'm walking around the parking lot i realize that my car is missing. my CAR?! it's GONE! WHAT!?! i tell james that i can't find my car anywhere. so all four of us start searching the parking lot for my car.
after the fruitless search we know the worst is true. someone stole my car. i won't be able to get to the final and i won't be able to go up to Draper to take my test on July 4th.
stress and despair envelope me.
i finally decide to just ride with daron even though we're all late anyway.
"i'm never going to pass this test. i'm never going to get there. i'm never going to be a nurse," i tell myself as i still in the back seat of the car.
that's what i dream about, folks. this stupid test is ruining my waking hours as well as my sleeping hours.
Argh! I just want to know when i can take this stupid test!!!
of course, i'm checking my e-mail on my ipod and so when i try to log on to the website to schedule the test, my ipod decides not to pick up any internet connection. the page loads half way, takes forever, and then maybe shows me a few words on the screen.
i'm finally logged in and i can access a calendar and all of the dates are closed except tomorrow, July 4th, and August 18. WHAT?!? "i don't want to wait! i'm getting stupider by the minute!" i hurry and click the July 4th date and decide that i need to consult annalie and cyann to see when they're taking it.
but then i realize. i only have my ipod. not my phone. i can't call them. i'll just have to go see them.
i go out of my apartment and see daron, james, and russell all heading over to the school. of course! i still have one more final to complete before graduation!
i catch up with them and talk about what date they signed up for the NCLEX. they didn't even know they could yet. i'm glad i told them. they all start freaking out and pulling out their smart phones to log on and sign up.
as i'm walking around the parking lot i realize that my car is missing. my CAR?! it's GONE! WHAT!?! i tell james that i can't find my car anywhere. so all four of us start searching the parking lot for my car.
after the fruitless search we know the worst is true. someone stole my car. i won't be able to get to the final and i won't be able to go up to Draper to take my test on July 4th.
stress and despair envelope me.
i finally decide to just ride with daron even though we're all late anyway.
"i'm never going to pass this test. i'm never going to get there. i'm never going to be a nurse," i tell myself as i still in the back seat of the car.
that's what i dream about, folks. this stupid test is ruining my waking hours as well as my sleeping hours.
Argh! I just want to know when i can take this stupid test!!!
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Graduation
Graduation: Everything I hoped for. And more!
Annalie and I cheesing it up!
I think my favorite parts of the ceremonies were just chilling with my classmates waiting for things to start. I love them all! They're 19 of the best friends I've ever had!
Another line up. Waiting. Excited. So happy!
My roommate Lynsie also graduated from the college of Science with her Biology degree! Together we will take over the world!
Best friend Dan made the trip down for two of my ceremonies. It was great having him there!
Mom, Dad, Lauren, and Connor came as well. This was after my pinning ceremony. As nurses we get a special pin for the two years of near torture that we go through. Worth it? Maybe.... :) The pinning ceremony was my favorite part. I was voted "Most Likely to have a song written about them." Brittni wrote a song for me later that night.
The dipolma!! My favorite part of walking up on stage was the awkwardness of it all. First we got a picture taken, then got our names called, then walked to the Dean where he gave us these dipolma covers. He said, "Let's stop right here and look this way for a photo op." I had to contain the laughter at how lame that sounded.
The President of the University shook my hand and asked, "Do you have a job lined up yet?"
I said, "Uh...... No."
haha.
Graduation was awesome. I'm so happy for the experiences that I have had while attending University. I'm so excited for my future! And to be a nurse!
Congrats Nursing class of 2011! We did it! I love you all!
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Graduation time!
I can't believe that it's finally time to graduate. But I'd be lying if I said I wasn't fantastically excited about moving on and getting into this next phase of life.
As of now I don't really have a plan for what I'm doing. (Scarier for me than for you, I assure you.) When people ask I tell them that I'm staying in Cedar for a while. (Don't really know how long.) I'm staying at least for the month of May so that I can study for the NCLEX (scary nursing boards) with classmmates and not be distracted by moving and family and things. Plus, May is a good time of year to go camping. And I'm pretty sure I'll get a lot of studying done when I go camping. Then I'll take my test. (I won't know what day I can take it for another week or so. I'm hoping in a few weeks.) And then I'll beg for a job somewhere. For now I think I should try to stay in Utah. But that means anywhere in Utah. I'm considering it all. Or I've even looked at Arizona. Just keeping my options open. I could really do anything and go anywhere at this point. Kind of scary. But exciting.
All in all, I CAN'T WAIT to be a nurse. I love it so much!
Monday, April 25, 2011
life is going to be okay.
Graduation is coming. SO soon. The other day Betsy came into our class and explained how graduation will work. She got annoyed with us talking whist she was explaining but I think she forgot to realize that most graduating seniors don't have a Betsy to explain things and find where to line up all by themselves. Bless her heart.
Salt lake nursing conference was lame. As daron said, "it was a 6 out of 10 on the pain scale." ha. But I loved hanging out with my best friends and loved making memories. Like ditching the conference to chill at a bar, shopping at barnes and noble, and going to ikea. Ha. I guess I did enjoy the booths that gave us tons of free stuff.
Friend drama. I've been experiencing much of that lately. Whether it's friends being sad, crappy, breaking up, getting back together, being mean, getting new crushes.... Whew. Sometimes I just want to hide in a hole. But luckily I love my friends. So I guess that's good. I just hope that my friends' lives will stop being SO dramatic. As I'm sure they do too.
I went to the temple the other day and it was the best experience I've had in a while. I learned a lot about myself and about deciding future plans. I'm glad I can trust in God to help me out even though I don't deserve it half of the time.
I put blue in my hair. It's awesome. The other day I was looking through pictures of myself from the last two years and I had a different hair color almost every single time. Sometimes I think it's awesome, but then other times I wonder, "what have a done to my poor hair?!?!" it'll be brown for graduation. as well as possibly sporting a different style. then the plan is to not dye it for a while. stay tuned.
I only have one more project to finish before I can start studying for the 3 tests I have and then I AM DONE. Until the next week when I have to study for the NCLEX. Then I'll take that and BE DONE! Until I have to beg for jobs. Hmmm...... life never is easy, is it?
My future is very hazy at this point. It's nerve wracking and makes me sick sometimes to think about it, but it's exciting too. I'll be okay. And the best is yet to be. As brittni said the other night as she held me in a head lock/hug in the middle of Smith's, "you're life is going to be okay."
Sometimes it's nice to be reminded.
Salt lake nursing conference was lame. As daron said, "it was a 6 out of 10 on the pain scale." ha. But I loved hanging out with my best friends and loved making memories. Like ditching the conference to chill at a bar, shopping at barnes and noble, and going to ikea. Ha. I guess I did enjoy the booths that gave us tons of free stuff.
Friend drama. I've been experiencing much of that lately. Whether it's friends being sad, crappy, breaking up, getting back together, being mean, getting new crushes.... Whew. Sometimes I just want to hide in a hole. But luckily I love my friends. So I guess that's good. I just hope that my friends' lives will stop being SO dramatic. As I'm sure they do too.
I put blue in my hair. It's awesome. The other day I was looking through pictures of myself from the last two years and I had a different hair color almost every single time. Sometimes I think it's awesome, but then other times I wonder, "what have a done to my poor hair?!?!" it'll be brown for graduation. as well as possibly sporting a different style. then the plan is to not dye it for a while. stay tuned.
I only have one more project to finish before I can start studying for the 3 tests I have and then I AM DONE. Until the next week when I have to study for the NCLEX. Then I'll take that and BE DONE! Until I have to beg for jobs. Hmmm...... life never is easy, is it?
My future is very hazy at this point. It's nerve wracking and makes me sick sometimes to think about it, but it's exciting too. I'll be okay. And the best is yet to be. As brittni said the other night as she held me in a head lock/hug in the middle of Smith's, "you're life is going to be okay."
Sometimes it's nice to be reminded.
Monday, March 28, 2011
me. right now.
i'm ACLS certified. don't know what that is? well.... stop breathing and tell your heart to stop beating. and if i have the right equipment and drugs nearby i can save your life. but really now, i'm pretty excited about it. just another step closer to getting my RN.
festival of colors was successful. i think i loved it a lot.
my nephew is A.D.O.R.A.B.L.E. i can't get enough of that kid. this weekend he was looking at my dog and laughing his head off every time she would move. it was the best.
so of course that means i'm SO super excited that my sister is having a baby boy!!! the first nephew turned out adorable. and if this new one is anything like camden, he'll be another love of my life. i'm SO excited for lauren and jon!
i spent way too long doing homework today. and i don't have much to show for it. it's getting tiring. i hate pretending to care about assignments. most of them are ridiculously time consuming and pointless. i know that i'm almost done. i've never understood the statement "so close yet so far" as much as i do now.
i passed my comprehensive predictor test. i did well. and it makes me a little bit hopeful about my future.
i finally decided what kind of nurse i want to be. i want to work on the cardiovascular floor at a hospital. i worked there during my preceptorship and i loved learning. i loved knowing the heart rhythms and medications and everything about that floor. my ACLS class solidified my interest and love for anything cardiac. so i'm crossing my fingers that this happens for me someday soon.
i'm happy with life. but i guess i'm not quite as strong as i thought i was. i still allow some things to influence what i do even though i hate it. i still let things bug me even though i'm over them. i still wonder all the time what i could do differently even though i like who i am. when i think i'm over things, something else comes up and the emotions that rise up in me make me wonder if i really am.
festival of colors was successful. i think i loved it a lot.
so of course that means i'm SO super excited that my sister is having a baby boy!!! the first nephew turned out adorable. and if this new one is anything like camden, he'll be another love of my life. i'm SO excited for lauren and jon!
i spent way too long doing homework today. and i don't have much to show for it. it's getting tiring. i hate pretending to care about assignments. most of them are ridiculously time consuming and pointless. i know that i'm almost done. i've never understood the statement "so close yet so far" as much as i do now.
i passed my comprehensive predictor test. i did well. and it makes me a little bit hopeful about my future.
i finally decided what kind of nurse i want to be. i want to work on the cardiovascular floor at a hospital. i worked there during my preceptorship and i loved learning. i loved knowing the heart rhythms and medications and everything about that floor. my ACLS class solidified my interest and love for anything cardiac. so i'm crossing my fingers that this happens for me someday soon.
i'm happy with life. but i guess i'm not quite as strong as i thought i was. i still allow some things to influence what i do even though i hate it. i still let things bug me even though i'm over them. i still wonder all the time what i could do differently even though i like who i am. when i think i'm over things, something else comes up and the emotions that rise up in me make me wonder if i really am.
i want to go to the beach. it's not one of those, "ah..... that'd be nice to go to the beach" things, it's a "IF I DON'T GO TO THE BEACH IN THE NEAR FUTURE SOMEONE IS GOING TO GET CUT" thing. i'm planning this trip. i'm going to graduate, take and pass the NCLEX and then go to the beach to celebrate my genius. it will happen. IT WILL HAPPEN.
i guess that's life right now.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
done
My preceptorship is done.
Did you hear that?
My preceptorship is DONE!
Since the first day of nursing school I had heard about our preceptorship. How we would start off following our nurse and by the end we would have the nurse follow us instead.
I was terrified.
But I did it. All eleven twelve hour shifts. And all from 6pm to 6am. And I didn't fall asleep and/or die driving home in the mornings. (maybe with just a few close calls...)
I learned so much. My nurse was awesome. I can't find any flaws in the way he does things. I honestly think he's one of the most knowledgable nurses I've ever worked with. He's organized and rarely needs reminding about what to do. He was great. It was a pleasure doing his work for him.
I got to do a bunch of things I've never done before. Such as:
Catch a urine sample
Watch a sheath be removed
Find a heart murmur
Change a central line dressing
Put on a five lead heart monitor
Recognize crazy heart rhythms like A flutter and A fib and PVCs.
Order labs and send them out
Give nitro paste and nitro stat
Order medications from pharmacy
Give meds and IV meds without my nurse watching me
Deciding when to hold meds
Call a patients house to get a med list
Give end of shift report
Fill out care plans
Take care of five patients
Put a bandaid on a "wee willy"
Admit a new patient in the middle of the night
Order a stat EKG
Go down to the cafeteria at 1 am in search for lemon pie
Put someone on a bed pan
Sand bag a bleed after a cardiac catheterization
Set the pace on a heart pacer
Badder scan
I did embarrassing and stupid things like:
Erupt water all over a room from an oxygen humidifier
Spill heparin on a patient
Forget to clean an IV port
Get peed on
Use my own stethoscope on a patient with droplet precautions
Forget my patients names
Almost tipped a patient to the ground
Kicked a catheter box
Taking three tries to get an ID band on correctly
Letting IV meds spill on the floor
Forgetting to open the clamp to the IV tubing
Missing an IV stick (although, I did have six people staring at me while I tried. I got nervous.)
Asking a janitor how to get to the cafeteria
Teaching CNAs how to say "crazy" in Korean
Not knowing answers to questions
Taking five minutes to do a simple drug calculation
Forgetting to tie the patient's gown as we walked down the hallway.
Charting the stuff on the wrong patient's chart. (God bless delete keys.)
It was a GREAT experience.
But....
SO GLAD ITS DONE.
I'm sick of driving to St. George and back 3 times a week and really need a normal sleeping schedule again.
Did you hear that?
My preceptorship is DONE!
Since the first day of nursing school I had heard about our preceptorship. How we would start off following our nurse and by the end we would have the nurse follow us instead.
I was terrified.
But I did it. All eleven twelve hour shifts. And all from 6pm to 6am. And I didn't fall asleep and/or die driving home in the mornings. (maybe with just a few close calls...)
I learned so much. My nurse was awesome. I can't find any flaws in the way he does things. I honestly think he's one of the most knowledgable nurses I've ever worked with. He's organized and rarely needs reminding about what to do. He was great. It was a pleasure doing his work for him.
I got to do a bunch of things I've never done before. Such as:
Catch a urine sample
Watch a sheath be removed
Find a heart murmur
Change a central line dressing
Put on a five lead heart monitor
Recognize crazy heart rhythms like A flutter and A fib and PVCs.
Order labs and send them out
Give nitro paste and nitro stat
Order medications from pharmacy
Give meds and IV meds without my nurse watching me
Deciding when to hold meds
Call a patients house to get a med list
Give end of shift report
Fill out care plans
Take care of five patients
Put a bandaid on a "wee willy"
Admit a new patient in the middle of the night
Order a stat EKG
Go down to the cafeteria at 1 am in search for lemon pie
Put someone on a bed pan
Sand bag a bleed after a cardiac catheterization
Set the pace on a heart pacer
Badder scan
I did embarrassing and stupid things like:
Erupt water all over a room from an oxygen humidifier
Spill heparin on a patient
Forget to clean an IV port
Get peed on
Use my own stethoscope on a patient with droplet precautions
Forget my patients names
Almost tipped a patient to the ground
Kicked a catheter box
Taking three tries to get an ID band on correctly
Letting IV meds spill on the floor
Forgetting to open the clamp to the IV tubing
Missing an IV stick (although, I did have six people staring at me while I tried. I got nervous.)
Asking a janitor how to get to the cafeteria
Teaching CNAs how to say "crazy" in Korean
Not knowing answers to questions
Taking five minutes to do a simple drug calculation
Forgetting to tie the patient's gown as we walked down the hallway.
Charting the stuff on the wrong patient's chart. (God bless delete keys.)
It was a GREAT experience.
But....
SO GLAD ITS DONE.
 |
| this was my hair after waking up after a night of clinicals. |
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
love things
Nursing.
I love it.
But I’ll tell you a few things that I don’t love about it.
I don’t love wiping butts.
I don’t love being peed on or puked on.
I don’t love being room service.
I don’t love feeling like an idiot when I can’t explain things or remember medications.
I don’t love feeling helpless when someone feels so sick and they’re counting on me to save them from pain.
I don’t love not knowing what to do all the time.
I don’t love charting.
But there are some things that I do love.
I love the patients.
I love getting to know them.
I love knowing more about them than their doctors do.
I love laughing at myself with them.
I love joking with them.
I love sitting with them and rubbing their shoulder when they’re feeling like they need to vomit.
I love holding their hands when they cry.
I love listening to them and being there to listen.
I love feeling like I’m helping them.
I love hearing them say a grateful “thank you” and knowing that they mean it.
So even though I thought I’d love being a nurse because I get to stab people and take their blood and give them IVs and be in that huge room of medical supplies, I really don’t love all of that. Sure, I like it.
But when it comes to love, the thing I love most are the people.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
it happened
today.
i took a lunch break at 1:30 am. i laughed at how all the staff called it "lunch break." they asked if i would rather them call it "dinner" but I shrugged and said, "whatever you call it, i'm not used to this."
i spent all of the 2 and 3 o'clock hours trying to get a nose bleed under control. not my own. that poor woman couldn't breathe and couldn't sleep. i hurt for her. and i prayed for her every time her call light went off and i went in there to try to get her to relax. i feel like nurses must pray a lot. to know what to do, to know what to say, to know what to notice. i'm not a nurse yet, but i prayed for her. to sleep. she finally did at 4am.
i started yawning at 6:30, while jody was giving report. he told me i could leave. i was so happy he said that. he's going to be a great person to work with.
i listened to "what's in the middle" by the bird and the bee on repeat all the way home. love it. by the time i exited i realized that i really just stayed up all night. good thing cedar is only 45 minutes away. anything longer would have ended up with me falling alseep at the wheel.
8am found me staggering into my room. as i got in my covers, ready to fall asleep, lynsie got up for the day. like the switching of the guard.
i think i fell asleep within 3 seconds of hitting my pillow. i had a dream that i liked a boy. not really sure what his name was in the dream, but it was funny. entertaining really. having crushes is fun, even if it only happens in dream land.
so i could only sleep until 1. i think that's as good as it'll get.
i put a hair bow on my shirt today. people may think the things i choose to wear in public is weird. but i'm not trying to impress them anyway.
i pushed the send button on a message i've been wanting to send for about a month now. i finally decided i didn't care what the person thought. it was something i wanted to do. and guess what? a reply. it happened.
:)
i'm going to make a unicorn for my favorite 4 year old. it's her birthday. she's great. so as i cut out the fabric i watched despicable me. and i remembered how she can quote parts of it. and how we saw it together in the theatre. and we danced during the previews. and she threw up during the movie. but man, she's adorable.
dan called. i love taco tuesdays even if i don't eat tacos. because i get to talk to him. and sarah. i even talked to dan's girlfriend. she's so cute. they all brought a smile to my face. i hate that i have to be down here and missing them all the time, but i love that we can still be the best of friends. and i love to be remembered.
brittni called and we had a fake fight. i think i got real offended for a second there. and she real apologized. but it was one of those fake fights where we were both confused if it was real offended and real apologizing going on. so it's possible that we're still confused.
mango mousse. yeah. we ate that tonight.
a party in chelsey's room happened. a mini one. because it's not a full party unless lynsie's there too. and she wasn't that time.
i finished out the day with a bit of smiling and thinking. feeling accomplished and like i can do anything.
i took a lunch break at 1:30 am. i laughed at how all the staff called it "lunch break." they asked if i would rather them call it "dinner" but I shrugged and said, "whatever you call it, i'm not used to this."
i spent all of the 2 and 3 o'clock hours trying to get a nose bleed under control. not my own. that poor woman couldn't breathe and couldn't sleep. i hurt for her. and i prayed for her every time her call light went off and i went in there to try to get her to relax. i feel like nurses must pray a lot. to know what to do, to know what to say, to know what to notice. i'm not a nurse yet, but i prayed for her. to sleep. she finally did at 4am.
i started yawning at 6:30, while jody was giving report. he told me i could leave. i was so happy he said that. he's going to be a great person to work with.
i listened to "what's in the middle" by the bird and the bee on repeat all the way home. love it. by the time i exited i realized that i really just stayed up all night. good thing cedar is only 45 minutes away. anything longer would have ended up with me falling alseep at the wheel.
8am found me staggering into my room. as i got in my covers, ready to fall asleep, lynsie got up for the day. like the switching of the guard.
i think i fell asleep within 3 seconds of hitting my pillow. i had a dream that i liked a boy. not really sure what his name was in the dream, but it was funny. entertaining really. having crushes is fun, even if it only happens in dream land.
so i could only sleep until 1. i think that's as good as it'll get.
i put a hair bow on my shirt today. people may think the things i choose to wear in public is weird. but i'm not trying to impress them anyway.
i pushed the send button on a message i've been wanting to send for about a month now. i finally decided i didn't care what the person thought. it was something i wanted to do. and guess what? a reply. it happened.
:)
i'm going to make a unicorn for my favorite 4 year old. it's her birthday. she's great. so as i cut out the fabric i watched despicable me. and i remembered how she can quote parts of it. and how we saw it together in the theatre. and we danced during the previews. and she threw up during the movie. but man, she's adorable.
dan called. i love taco tuesdays even if i don't eat tacos. because i get to talk to him. and sarah. i even talked to dan's girlfriend. she's so cute. they all brought a smile to my face. i hate that i have to be down here and missing them all the time, but i love that we can still be the best of friends. and i love to be remembered.
brittni called and we had a fake fight. i think i got real offended for a second there. and she real apologized. but it was one of those fake fights where we were both confused if it was real offended and real apologizing going on. so it's possible that we're still confused.
mango mousse. yeah. we ate that tonight.
a party in chelsey's room happened. a mini one. because it's not a full party unless lynsie's there too. and she wasn't that time.
i finished out the day with a bit of smiling and thinking. feeling accomplished and like i can do anything.
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