since working, i've had only 4 people i've taken care of pass away.
but this one was the first one that happened on my shift.
i'm not depressed or anything. i just feel like this is a moment i'll remember forever.
she was the sweetest little lady. so cute. so happy. she was confused most of the time. and i admit that half of the fun of taking care of her was hearing all the funny things she would say.
they had a little spot light on her the month before in the care center news letter. i don't remember everything, except that her husband asked her to marry him on their first date and she was an amazing cook. i tried to remember those things about her when i took care of her.
yesterday she took a turn for the worse. they moved her into a private room so her family could be by her side. she wasn't doing well. i was relieved when her son showed up at 3. i knew she didn't have long.
then, around four, one of my aides came up to me and told me that her son thought she stopped breathing.
i went into the room and instantly knew. she was gone. i had to do something nurse-y. so i got down beside her bed and tried to feel for a pulse. nothing.
i said in an almost whisper, "i can't find a pulse." and her son fell apart. he grabbed my hand and held it tightly as he cried. i teared up. i'm the type of person that does that. i empathize a little too much sometimes.
he let go of my hand and thanked me for taking care of her.
it was hard to leave the room and go on about my job like nothing was going on in that room. someone's life just changed forever. and yet i had a patient bugging me to give him his pills. wow.
i've just been thinking about this a bit. like i said, i'm okay; not depressed. and i think i handled it all very well. i think i'll remember her for the rest of my life. what a moment.
i love nursing.
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