day 4

Something you have to forgive someone for.

the first thing that popped in my head is something i've been stuggling with for a while.
a while ago someone broke my trust. it was a really big blow to me and hurt me quite a lot. and although i didn't just give my trust back to this person (don't think i ever will again the way i had) i did get to the point where i could honestly say that i was okay with it.

the problem is that even though i forgave that person for breaking my trust, i never did forgive them for the way our friendship was affected.

i tried my hardest to keep our friendship going. i continued to invite them to hang out, texted them random things, tried to sit by them and talk to them when i was around them, and even called a couple times during the summer to hear about their life.

but they didn't put any effort into it anymore. what am i supposed to do about that? it's been so hard for me to lose this person as a good friend. now they are someone that i have only talked to once in the last 3 months.

i know i need to forgive this person for not putting any effort into our friendship. i don't know what they're thinking. maybe to them it's my fault. i don't know. but i need to forgive, don't i?

i know i'll get over it. i kind of just gave up a couple months ago. gave up contacting this person, seeing this person, even talking about this person. but i think it's time i stop trying to be a jerk and just be myself. if i want to put effort into it and they don't, then who cares. i'll do it anyway.

God will smile on me. and i need all the smiles i can get. :)